I’m not going to be another one of those people whining about how harmful and bad stereotypes are because let’s just be real, they’re not going away, and a lot of times they end up being true. But it’s also true that a lot of times the vast majority can be misleading, and that is certainly true for how people view Christians. The thing is, I wouldn’t necessarily tell them they’re wrong because a lot of so-called Christians do give off these various stereotypes, so all I can do is tell you why they shouldn’t be what we’re known for and why I don’t want to be thought of through many of these misconceptions. These go much farther than just stereotypes, though: most people flat out don’t understand what it means to love God or to have faith at all—even if they might think they do—which therefore leads to these misconceptions becoming even more stereotypical, which yes, many Christians reinforce, and then the whole cycle just continues. But here on my blog, I’m all about shedding a light on darkness and getting real about why I am the way I am and how I believe God’s people should be carrying themselves.
I have to say, none of these misconceptions I’ll be talking about are things people have directly told me. I didn’t send out a survey asking people for their thoughts on Christians or my faith in my life, and no one really has ever been ~so kind~ as to say these things to or about me that I’ve heard. But I have observed a lot, and I’ve picked up on quite a few misconceptions society tends to hold about Christians. Once again, I can’t tell you whether they’re right or not about every single Christian; I can only tell you what should be the case and what I myself want to represent.
Misconception #1: We don’t have fun
This is a loaded topic because there’s a lot that can be said here. I believe it was C.S. Lewis who was quoted as saying, “Have fun, even if it’s not the same kind of fun everyone else is having.” Yeah, I don’t know about all the other Christians, but I have lots of fun in my life. The catch, though, is that fun is as subjective as happiness; it’s not a tangible, measurable thing. It’s a concept, an idea, that is, once again, largely based on your response and attitude to things. People nowadays tend to believe that getting blackout drunk and partying all the time is the definition of fun, but says who? I have my doubts about that actually being fun, but even if for argument’s sake we include that as a way to have fun, why is that viewed as the ultimate fun or the main fun or the only fun? It’s not. There’re tons of ways to have fun in and enjoy life. It’s true that it seems like there are Christians who get so uptight that they can’t relax and laugh about anything, but that seems more like a personality trait than something characteristic of the faith because I know people who are just like that even if they’re not as serious about God, and God is the One who made fun and designed us with that longing. I can have the time of my life just laying in bed at one in the morning watching dumb YouTube videos and scrolling through Pinterest memes and sharing my feelings of joy and amusement with Him. You don’t have to be out partying every night to have a fun life.
I should also add that just because Christians SHOULD BE having fun doesn’t mean you should go out and get drunk. There’s a lot of things the world considers to be fun that really don’t add up in the long run. What lures so many people to drinking is that beyond maybe any other sort of fun, it numbs your brain to reality, but life is meant to be lived, not forgotten, so that just opens up tons of problems, not to mention all the dangerous things you could do when you’re wasted. Or there’s casual sex, another thing people love to tote as being fun and something to live for. Well, the climax from that lasts about a minute tops, then you’re right back to square one and still left with all the loneliness now coupled with a barrage of hormones to supplement it because that isn’t true connection and sex wasn’t just designed to be a toy to drop and play with at whims. Probably just typing this paragraph will make some people think I’m a loser, but sorry not sorry, not all fun is beneficial. I get that part of the fun is living in the moment and enjoying it for the moment’s sake, but you still want to do that in ways that won’t be destructive down the road. Just getting drunk and having sex in the moment lasts far beyond the given moments.
During my high school years, I did begin considering that perhaps drinking or, more specifically, partying (although the two are interchangeable nowadays) is what I needed to have more fun in my life, and that I needed to be going out more, that I needed to be going to prom and dances, etc. You know what my problem really was? It wasn’t being lonely; it was thinking that I needed to not be lonely. When I stopped obsessing over all that crap and trusted God to give me the best and allowed myself to enjoy my life for what it is, I had tons of fun. Fun can meet you right where you are. You have to have His joy and surrender to Him so that you are actually free to appreciate those moments in your life. Focusing on all the things that are so-called fun will never you get there.
Misconception #2: We don’t enjoy trends/life/culture
Once again, we could have two extremes here. There’re several people who try to merge the two—pop culture and faith—which basically means nothing to their faith because you end up abandoning it for the world altogether, but with that being said, we’re still physical, earthly beings, so obviously we’re going to enjoy many elements of society, and we SHOULD. It’s not a sin to enjoy fashion when you’re not idolizing it or otherwise acting inappropriate through what you wear. It’s not a sin to enjoy aspects of pop culture as long as they’re edifying. Again, there’s a difference between being a prude and being smart. Not all things are good, and we are commanded not to conform to this world (Romans 12:2), but that doesn’t mean, in not conforming, that you live under a rock. When God is talking about us not conforming, He’s talking about conforming to the world and its sin and fleshly desires, but enjoying life is not wrong (John 10:10). You can enjoy life without sinning, just like you can have fun without sinning. I obviously love fashion and enjoy several aspects of society. I love my hockey games, but that doesn’t mean I have to get hammered at them or endorse things that aren’t good. Just because I enjoy fashion and exercise some of the trends there doesn’t mean I have to turn into a full-blown skank; I can look cute and trendy without looking trashy and otherwise sinning by showing off things that don’t need to be or portraying toxic messages.
Misconception #3: We’re not “with it” when it comes to social norms or understanding things of the world
There are Christians that people view stereotypically as “weird” because of how they carry themselves in social scenarios, and I understand that. However, once again, by not conforming to the world, that doesn’t mean you can’t possess social skills or relate to others. I don’t want to sit here and pat myself on the back or whatever, but I actually think I have far better social skills than many people my age or even a lot of adults because so many of them don’t even know how to initiate conversations, do something as basic as greet someone, or get their head out of their phones. As a Christian, I strive to be all the more socially competent, to be friendly and warm for His glory so people do feel like they can confide in me and enjoy interacting with me. I’m not the most outgoing of people, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still possess social skills, understand society and the world around me—even if I detest a lot of things in it—or that I’m naive and ignorant to those things. I want to understand those things all the more so that I can continue to grow in wisdom, knowledge, and closeness to God and the people He does cross my paths with.
Misconception #4: We’re not intellectual or rational
This one is actually a pet peeve of mine, like there’s this stupid sign that says “We believe in science” about some political issue, as if insinuating that people (who do tend to be Christian) don’t acknowledge or believe in science. Like yes, I believe perfectly well in real science, not science distorted by agendas and secularism that refuses to acknowledge God no matter what. But anyway, I get that there’s a lot of Christians who don’t know their stuff, who genuinely don’t study how faith and science intersect, and they can give off the impression that we’re all crazy believing in some “unscientific” religion. The thing is, it’s not against science. There’s plenty of evidence for it, but you have to even be talking to people who will have an open mind about it or else you’ll never convince them no matter what. This is why I want to continue learning about and immersing myself in this topic. I don’t know everything there is to know about this. Science was my least favorite subject in school; I wasn’t horrible at it, but a lot of it just doesn’t intrigue me. Still, that doesn’t make me dumb or in denial of it—what is actually proven, that is. We live in a world where what is considered “science” is becoming just as subjective as these other ambiguous topics I’m talking about, even though obviously, it’s supposed to be objective.
I don’t consider myself to be super intelligent by any means, and I can be dumb or at least ignorant to many things, but I’m constantly trying to learn as much as I can. I got slightly above average test scores throughout school, so while I was smart, I wasn’t overwhelmingly intelligent. I got really good grades, but most of that stemmed out of my work ethic and paying attention rather than natural intellect, though there is some of that by God’s grace. That being said, intellect is primarily out of people’s control, but ignorance isn’t. I believe everyone has the ability to grow and mature in their faith and knowledge of Him because that is discerned through the Spirit (1 Corinthians 2:14), and when someone is drawing near to Him, He will draw near to them (James 4:8). There are a range of materials that can help you understand topics of the faith and life better that range in complexity, so while there are some people who will never understand the full scope of things the way someone else might, that doesn’t need to deter them from still knowing Him and being able to intelligently articulate their faith. I could point to examples of that in my life, but obviously I’m not going to do that because I don’t want anyone to feel like they’re not as smart as someone else. The beautiful thing, though, is that these people are on the same page when it comes to their faith, even if they’re not quite on the same level intelligently speaking.
Misconception #5: We are emotionally weaker
This is probably one of the less frequent misconceptions, but I had it listed because there are Christians who, unfortunately, can act like whiny victims and martyrs when it’s not justified, and there are people who profess to love God but aren’t emotionally strong whatsoever. Everyone is at different levels in life, and obviously not everyone can be strong all of the time, but generally speaking, I think one of the big signs of a true believer is how they conduct themselves in adversity. That’s not to say we can’t ever show emotion—that’s not true strength, anyway; that’s just repression, which is very unhealthy and will lead to outbursts—but rather that we manage our emotions responsibly. We are to be slow to anger, quick to forgive (which includes not being moody, snotty, or nursing grudges) (Proverbs 16:32; James 1:9), and we are supposed to be known by our fruits of the Spirit (Matthew 7:16), and those things are how our emotions should be processed (Galatians 5:22-23). When we do feel emotionally distraught, we are to run to Him and pour our hearts out to Him (1 Peter 5:7). That’s also not to say we can’t ever share our feelings with other people because that is why God gave us people, but there’s also a big difference in having a few trusted believers you can vent to and who can pray for you rather than intentionally creating drama and spreading gossip and what not by wanting the attention of everyone who will listen (Proverbs 29:11).
I can specifically remember how I acted emotionally before and after I became serious about God. Obviously I was very young before I became more mature in Him so that didn’t help my emotional responses, but it just shows how once He grabbed ahold of me and I grabbed back, age wasn’t an excuse because the difference in how a person carries themselves emotionally all has to do with a person’s relationship with Him. Again, I’m not saying I’m perfect or that I never have emotional breakdowns because that is far from the truth; generally speaking, though, your life and your conduct should be characterized by all those fruits of the Spirit, like peace, joy, gentleness, etc. (Galatians 5:22-23). My grandma is a beautiful example of someone who is secure in her relationship with God; when they lost their daughter to cancer, she gathered everyone and prayed and thanked God for her life, regardless that we felt it was too short. My mom is also the strongest person I know and has taught me what it means to be a strong, fearless woman in Him. I have been blessed to know several people in my family who have grown through their trials besides those two as well. Ultimately, it is their examples and God’s work in my heart that has allowed me to gain the peace I have now. I used to be anxious and much more hysterical and prone to drama with my friends, but now, even though I have some sort of anxiety and sadness that is part of life and that God is still helping me with, it’s not nearly on the sort of helpless level it was, and I am able to carry myself in far more of a calm, controlled manner, with my outbursts being more rare than they are common. I’ve had some of my most joyful, peaceful moments when I’ve gone through some of my worst moments since, and that is obviously because of God. Sometimes I’d say oh, I’m just numb to life and that’s why nothing phases me, but that’s not giving God the credit He deserves and it’s also just not true. Numbness withdraws; God allows me to remain calm and steady in the storm while maintaining healthy boundaries and still developing through Him. Numbness makes you stuck; His grace helps you persevere and come out more beautiful than you ever could have imagined. Christians should be the strongest people in the world (Romans 8:37). I’m not saying we still can’t struggle with things or experience anxiety and depression, but even when I had those, my responses to my anxiety were still different from people I knew not trusting God with anxiety. Your overall character is rooted in Him. It’s not a sin to feel emotion, but how you express your emotions is what can be, and God is the One who helps us manage our emotions healthily.
Misconception #6: We live a weird, different, radical way of life
I’d like to address all three of these things because they each can imply something different. It’s very easy for people to view us as weird, and I won’t deny that some Christians can act weird. Again, though, that’s more of a personality thing rather than something stemming from faith. There are weird people who don’t even have faith, and there are plenty of socially normal, intelligent Christians who have normal lives like everyone else. They should be distinguished for their faith and convictions as a result of it and their character and choices they make, but that doesn’t mean they still can’t do things everyone else does. I feel bad saying that because it doesn’t adequately express the point I’m trying to make; it makes it seem like Christians are one and the same with everyone, and obviously as human beings we are—we’re no better than anyone else, but our character and choices should be. But good choices can be made through all aspects of life, so what I’m saying is, you don’t have to go live in an isolated hole to live out your faith; you can still participate in aspects of society like school, work, entertainment but be set apart by the choices you make to honor God. I disagree that Christians have to be considered weird—I see no reason why I should be labeled that; other than my intensity for my age, I still enjoy normal, everyday life; I just don’t want to do things that would make me sin like talk bad, hook up, or otherwise act immature and degrade myself and the example I set for others.
That goes right into the next point: if Christians aren’t weird, aren’t they still different? Well, we should be like I said above—but that’s for the better, not worse. The world may view it in a negative light, but it shouldn’t be. Different doesn’t have to be a bad thing, not when it’s to do the right thing and set yourself apart for success. I think when most people think of us as different, they mean it in the negative way like we’re weird, but it doesn’t have to be that way. We should always be different in the sense that we’re leaders, the ones people can turn to and feel safe with, the ones who can be counted on to do the right thing when nobody else does, but none of that is bad. In many scenarios, it can be very good to be different. I know most of the time it doesn’t feel that way. Even though we all want to feel unique, it’s ironic that none of us want to feel different from anyone else. That’s the great paradox of humanity, and unfortunately, in many people’s desire to belong and not feel different, they compromise or stifle a lot. Me being different from my peers in the way that I act and think led me to being lonely, and I haven’t liked that, but the reason I haven’t conformed is because of God’s grace in showing me that the pain of conformity to someone less than who He created me to be is far greater than the pain of feeling alone amidst my peers but remaining close to Him. I’m different in that sense, but that doesn’t have to make me weird. What I lack because of convictions in a worldly sense doesn’t take away my life, which is so much richer and blessed than what it would be if I conformed to the immaturity and self-centeredness of most of the generation.
And let’s tackle the last one…being a radical. When people say this, it’s often never meant in a positive sense, and it makes me mad what they’re usually implying. Some so-called “Christians” throughout history have done terrible things in the name of God, but that’s why people have to get to know Him through His Word themselves so that they actually know what God approves of because simply calling oneself a Christian and spouting a bunch of lines about God doesn’t mean they are one. It’s about their lifestyle as a whole—if they actually want to do what He says. So I can see where people may think Christians are radical, and I will say this: we should be radical in our devotion to God and obeying Him. Being radical in that sense is not going to make you a terrorist because you would directly be sinning and disobeying God if you were. People who are radical like that are following their own destructive natures, and they are certainly not following God. I know there were instances in the Bible throughout the Old Testament where certain leaders God used could be considered radical or terrorists to some people, but that was for a specific purpose God had that was just and good, and it’s also not what He’s commanding for His people today. Again, you have to know His Word, which means also understanding its context, purpose, and application for you. I talk more about how you can do that here.
A couple semesters ago when I was taking an ethics class, one of the discussion questions asked us to share our opinion about this topic or it was related to it, and I essentially shared my devotion to faith and how that is the only answer and how people should be loyal to it through how they act, and I don’t remember exactly what I said so I’m probably butchering this, but what I do remember is my professor making some comment about how I have to be careful so as not to be radical in the negative sense that can potentially lead to terrorism. I don’t think he came out and said it as explicitly as that, either, but it’s what he was implying. And I just thought, no, you don’t get it; being radical as a Christian isn’t going to turn you into some psychopath who wants to kill everyone else; it’s actually going to make you way more moral and loving than most people will ever be if you really have that radical devotion to God. Look at Jesus: He was God’s perfect Son, His example to us, because He IS God. When He was on earth, did He go around murdering people in the name of God? No, He submitted Himself into His Father’s will, which eventually led to Him being delivered to His enemies to accomplish God’s good plans for us all. He was the perfect embodiment of all that we could hope to be. ~As a quick note, He is going to come back where He will destroy all His enemies (people dead in their sin who reject His salvation) (read about it in Revelation), but that is for Him to do, which is why God says to leave revenge to Him (Romans 12:19). We aren’t commanded to take matters into our own hands like that. Everything we do is to be done in love (1 Corinthians 16:14).
Obviously this isn’t the embodiment of me. I’ll never be perfectly able to possess all these qualities to debunk these misconceptions all the time, and neither will every Christian because it’s a lifelong thing that comes as you mature in your relationship with Christ. The thing is, not having arrived isn’t the problem. But being stagnant, complacent, that is. It’s one thing to still be growing; it’s another to be ignorant and content with that. I hope this can help you understand Christians better and how God wants us to be. Do you have any misconceptions you’ve heard of about Christians? What do you think of these?
