There aren’t many topics I’m nervous to write about, but this is one of them. My ultimate goal on here is to be as real as possible with you all about the deep struggles of life, and this is certainly one of them, so why do I get insecure writing about my experiences with it? I guess it goes back to a lot of things I’ve internalized about depression that I think those of us who’ve struggled with it have felt at some point or another, and that’s what we’re going to talk about. A big part of it is also pride, which obviously has no place in the life of a Christian, but I struggle sometimes with wanting to show you all that I’m a vulnerable, sinful human being like everyone else and how to balance that with also being an authoritative, credible writer on Christian topics. It feels like I need to not struggle with something before writing about it so I can share how I’ve overcome it, but that isn’t real life. Sometimes you conquer things and move on, but many times, you battle things continually. My emotions will probably always be one of those.

The other part is that I take it very seriously writing words that have the potential to influence people, especially on a topic like this where people may be battling it to all sorts of degrees. I wish I were someone who could provide all the answers, but I cannot. The main thing I can tell you is not to let this fester in isolation, which it so easily does, and reach out to trusted people or professionals who can point you to some of those solutions. I can only attest to my own experiences and things that have helped me and, of course, what God says and encourages about this topic. I pray that can be a good starting point.

Depression is just such an unpleasant topic to discuss. After all, it’s depression. It’s sad. But we obviously need to talk about it, especially in the Christian world, because mental health statistics now more than ever are staggering and alarming, and people of faith aren’t exempt from that at all. This is a topic I’m still eager to continue learning about because I do not feel like I have “overcome” this once and for all. I go through seasons and episodes. Sometimes it feels more severe than at other times. I want to briefly share my experiences with depression in hopes you can feel less alone about it and what has inspired and helped me over the years. I would like to share some advice I’ve researched that has helped, as well as my limitations in offering that advice. I also don’t want anyone to worry about me when I write about this (that’s another reason I feel reluctant to write about it…I so appreciate your concern/encouragement—it has helped me through my tough seasons, but God has been faithful to put trustworthy people in my life who I know I can go to, so I am okay).

My Experiences with Depression

I really don’t want to rehash my whole life story again because I feel like I’ve been doing that a lot in recent posts (try this post if you’re curious!) and because it’s so closely related to the other areas I’ve talked about struggling with, like my high school loneliness, anxiety, and events from my childhood, but I will share a brief recap of where this all ties in. As a child, I do think I battled some seasons of depression without really knowing that’s what it was based on trials my family went through at the time. However, I still was fine and able to function pretty normally for the most part especially as I grew up and got into middle school. I think anyone can experience some form of depression from time to time, which we’ll talk about, but I noticed mine getting more pervasive the summer before eighth grade; I think that was the first time where I felt like oh my gosh, I can’t just snap out of this; these feelings aren’t going away. I remember even asking God if I was depressed.

My emotions and thoughts became more “mature” if you want to call them that in the sense that after seventh grade, I felt like the naive, innocent, childlike me “died” and my eyes were opened up to the harshness of life in a way I’d been pretty much glossing over. I said I’d never really challenged God before, but that year I realized I could do that, and I did a lot. It was a constant battle that extended into high school. For some reason, it hit a new low during my sophomore year that extended off and on into the end of my junior year, where it got really bad again.

Alright, I’m nervous enough talking about depression, but I feel like I’d be lying and skirting the surface if I didn’t also touch on the “s” word. Full disclaimer: if any of this is upsetting to you or this is something you sincerely struggle with, I’m not kidding when I say please talk to someone about it. Even if you don’t know where to start, just start somewhere. Everyone has their own deeply personal struggles pertaining to these topics—I don’t want to “trigger” anyone or at the same time alarm anyone by talking about mine. I wouldn’t share this if I didn’t feel somewhat safe and comfortable doing so.

That word is suicide. It’s becoming more prevalent, as well. I would be lying if I said I’ve never had thoughts like that, and the reason I’m choosing to disclose that is because I know a lot of people have been there and feel a lot of shame about it, and when you’re dealing with that, added shame and guilt makes it even worse. I want to be transparent so we can talk about it and get the help that is necessary.

Even though I’d felt depressed leading up to 10th grade, I hadn’t really given myself permission to think suicidal thoughts, ever, because I knew how dangerous they were. It seemed like such a taboo topic, like if you even mentioned feeling that way to the slightest degree, someone would freak out and commit you to a mental ward. You can tell I still have some of those beliefs even now as I’m typing this because it makes me nervous. I’m still worried people might react that way when they read this, and that isn’t my intent. But ultimately, you own your feelings and your thoughts, and you get to choose what you wish to share. I’m sharing these really dark moments of my life because I’d be a hypocrite to do anything less. This is where I’ve been, where I sometimes can be, and it’s only by being honest about it that we can step into the light and let God and others heal us.

I think there are some important distinctions to make with suicide, and this is me saying so in a very non-certified, non-trained way (aka just observations): I think there are people who are greatly at risk, where it is something they’re actively planning (one of the things I remember hearing in a prevention training is how if someone shares suicidal feelings with you, one of the first things you should ask is if they have a plan because I think that can determine the magnitude of the situation). Obviously, if you’re having suicidal feelings at all, it’s definitely an indication to talk to someone about them, and you shouldn’t ignore that or will and suppress them away out of shame because that probably isn’t going to work. But I also learned you can have suicidal feelings without necessarily plotting something. That’s how I was. I never felt like I was actually going to act on my thoughts. I was more passive, thinking that it’d be easier if I was dead or that I’d rather be. I remember seeing a post on social media about how a lot of times when we feel suicidal, is it really a matter of wanting to be dead, or do we just wish things would change? Now, some people really do think they’d rather die, and that breaks my heart. I probably have felt that at times, too, even knowing that death wasn’t preferable (when it wasn’t God’s time for me) but just REALLY wanting things to change and feeling like they never would.

I’ve never gotten a clinical diagnosis for depression, but I don’t think it would be difficult to get one given the symptoms I’ve experienced. I have been diagnosed with anxiety, and I think—in my experience—the two can sometimes be interchangeable or synonymous, where one leads to the other. I think a lot of my depression was a symptom of my anxiety and feeling very out of control and helpless, like the loneliness and fear and monotone of life I felt then would go on forever. It didn’t…which is proof that you can’t go by your feelings and thoughts all the time.

When I wrote my post on advice for single Christians and addressed sexual purity and how hard it is to stop doing something once you’ve opened that door, I definitely felt that way with my depressing thoughts, and it makes sense knowing what I do now about the brain and neuroscience. I’ve learned that when you think a new thought, you create a new pathway in your brain that wasn’t there before, and the more you think similar thoughts, the more that pathway strengthens, and they say when it comes to the brain, you either “use it or lose it” or that, because of its neuroplasticity (ability to change based on thoughts you think), what you think more of will become easier to think about, and other pathways will eventually decrease. I’d never allowed myself to go there, thinking about actually wanting to die, but once I had, I’d walked through that door. I could never again say I hadn’t been to that low. Suddenly, those thoughts weren’t off limits. I’d created that pathway that would, unfortunately, get strengthened over time, and my more happy-go-lucky, positive pathways got smaller and smaller.

At the end of my junior year, COVID happened, my parents lost both of their jobs, and I was still struggling with another repeat of same-old lonely, boring high school. Being at home with my family all the time was a blessing but also stressful, as you can imagine, when everyone is together so long, especially in stressful times. I talked about this in my blog post reviewing Redeeming Love because actually, that book triggered a lot of depressing emotions I’d been battling because I wasn’t in a good headspace at the time. I told my mom some of my feelings when I had them my sophomore year, but it was more passive and negative at the time, like just more ramblings in a long list of complaints I had against life, so she talked to me about changing my attitude, which I did need to do. I know that for some people, that’s not always the case, but for me, a lot of it was. I still think I contributed to a lot of my emotions. But junior year, I remember telling her I was really struggling and that I wasn’t planning on doing anything, but there was a time where I used to never think this bad until I did, and I kept worrying, what if even further down the line, I become less and less in control of my thoughts? What if someday it does become an overarching urge? And that’s when I decided I was getting on meds.

My freshman year, I went to therapy for my anxiety with health and hypochondria. Right from the get-go, after sharing other phobias and all-consuming fears I’d had since I was a kid, my therapist thought I would benefit from medication because she thought it sounded like I’d been struggling with anxiety for a very long time, and I had been. I don’t even think I’ve gotten into what my anxiety was like before I was 12 years old and some of the things in my childhood that used to consume me, but we can do that another day. I was SO freaked out when she told me that. I knew medication existed and that some people needed it, and I would think that’s okay…but not for me. I had this internalization that only people who couldn’t function should be on it, that it should be an absolute last resort. I remember hearing my peers talk about medication they were on and thinking that’s sad; we’re so young and we shouldn’t be on meds. And…to a point, I still wonder about this.

However, I knew my mom had talked to my doctor about anxiety before, and she didn’t know how anxiety can manifest itself physically in the body. Our doctor recommended she take some pills to help, and that’s what gradually warmed me up to the idea. I knew I had to do something to take responsibility for my mental health, and I decided if there were safe medications that could help take the edge off and help me relax, I should swallow my pride and get on them. This was also after taking AP Psychology my sophomore year and learning about the dangerous cycle of stress. I knew I didn’t want to become any worse off than what I was.

Medicine, I will say, isn’t a perfect solution. I had so many misconceptions about it when I was younger. It doesn’t change who you are or warp your brain. It does seem to help with taking the edge off and just helping to make life a little more bearable when your thoughts are very obsessive and hard to control, but it’s not like a pain killer by any means. You still have emotions; I can still cry and be very obsessive and anxious even now. I’ve still gone back to some of those suicidal feelings, but I do appreciate the medicine because with time, I have been able to see a change in myself. It hasn’t taken away the redemptive work God has done in my life or my own progress towards growing, but what I always say is that it makes it easier to push through negative thoughts and not react as strongly to everything. I feel like it has become easier for me to do my part in growing.

I feel like I have been doing, as a whole, much better than how I was in high school. College is a whole different arena of stress, but it’s for different things, and I think I’ve coped much better than how I did in high school. There have been various trials throughout with my family that have upset me and had me regress to some of these dark feelings, but I think I am learning faster and coming out of them more quickly by the grace of God. This season I’m in now, actually, has been incredibly stressful for me as I’ve been trying to figure out what I’m going to do after graduation in an economy that sucks, frankly. Just the other day, I didn’t feel like this was a topic I wanted to tackle yet, but I have more faith in God than I do in myself, and I know that because of His grace, He’s not going to let me go or self-destruct; life is always going to be hard, and I think some personality types like mine are more prone to these emotional disorders than others, but I know from experience that they always pass.

So, let’s unpack this. I want to share some of the things that have helped me the most and what God has shown me about this struggle since I’ve felt so much shame compounded by the fact that I’m a Christian. No one has ever made me feel ashamed, but I felt like this shouldn’t happen to me and I should know better.

Some Things That Have Helped Me During Times of Depression

I want to be careful not to assume the role of someone who’s got it all figured out. I just pray God can speak through me whatever it is you need that might help you. Everyone who battles this experiences it to varying degrees and in their own ways, so I don’t want to give advice that would NOT help you. So please just utilize what does and forget about what doesn’t and reach out to someone like a respected doctor or counselor or pastor who can help develop suggestions more applicable to you. Not everything I share is going to fit everyone’s situation; I can only share what’s helped me. I’m happy to support and pray in whatever ways I can for you all, too.

Much like anxiety, depression doesn’t last forever. It will pass. Right off the bat, this is a good example of something that might not be applicable for everyone. I’d say if depression was a spectrum, I would be near the less severe side because it didn’t impair my everyday functioning. I think professionals can work with people who experience this more severely to help it pass, whether that be through taking medication, going to regular counseling sessions, or other treatment options that make it more manageable.

Mental health has been stigmatized not so much in my lifetime, but I’ve heard of how it has been before, and I think even when so many of us know better, old patterns die hard, and a lot of those shameful feelings are still there. I remember how people compared mental health to physical illness and how many of us don’t feel shame about going to the doctor or getting treatment for a cold, but when our brains are struggling with certain thought patterns, we take that so personally, like a breach in our character.

Now, please hear me on this front: I do think depression and mental illness have been reinforced by a culture focusing on victimization, which isn’t psychologically healthy, either, and I do think it’s possible to experience depression because of self-centeredness and because of poor decision-making, but for the purposes of this post, I’m talking about depression based on biological discrepancies. I hope that even makes sense. I just feel like not everyone who claims to be mentally suffering actually is, or they might be but are also making decisions contributing to that. A good doctor or therapist will help you discern that in a gentle manner, and obviously not every doctor or therapist is perfect. That’s why we have to examine even this with God’s Word and what He says about depression.

I know that for me, every time I experienced extreme despair, it did pass. Sometimes it took days; sometimes it lasted for weeks. And sometimes it felt like months could go by where I felt like life was just brutal. But it does pass. It took years for me to outgrow obsessions in high school that I can laugh about as I share them with you all now, but they felt so earth-shattering to me at the time. Still, they passed. Nothing in life lasts forever. That’s one of the traps with this thinking, that things will never change, but they do. I read an article for parents about dealing with teenage daughters and their emotions, and one of the things it advised parents and their daughters to know is that the brain does reset itself and it’s better not to try and stop the surge of emotions as they come or fix them.

That’s something I struggled with a lot; I always wanted to be happy and fix myself constantly, analyzing why I wasn’t happy and what I could do to change that, and I think this culture has an obsession with happiness that shouldn’t be there. I’ve heard it said in generations past that people didn’t think about whether they were happy or not so much; they just did their duties and lived their lives. And you can’t say oh, that’s why people then were miserable because that’s not true. WE are the ones with all sorts of mental health issues now. I saw an interesting thread on Twitter/X about our toxic culture with excessive therapy and focus on feelings. I’m certainly not trying to say that therapy is bad, but you can overdo anything—just like medication. You have to be thoughtful, do your research, and get second and third opinions. I don’t know if I’ll stay on my medication forever, but right now, it helps me, and I think it would be more of a hassle to try and get off of it. Allow God into this area of your life and to guide you to the right tools and resources. Try to remember, regardless of how you feel, that things will change.

The article also suggested some simple ways you can still go on living with it rather than just laying around hoping for it to change. I know for me, thinking about my depression just made it worse. My therapists over the years always suggested many of these “little” things to distract myself and focus on other things. These could be things like going for a walk or watching a funny show. I used to get so annoyed when my mom would tell me to just go shopping or watch my favorite funny show because when I was depressed, I just wanted to sulk and think about how depressed I felt as if I could think my way out of it, but that never really worked. It is amazing how your emotions and thoughts can literally just pass when you get your mind off them! And I’m not saying that in a toxic, escapism sort of way, like downing a bar or engaging in other bad behaviors. Things that are so simple can help redirect your thoughts, like funny videos I’d saved.

Realistic positivity and mindset matter. Gratitude matters. Compassion matters. Gentleness matters. Godliness matters. There are two dangerous extremes you could take with this: becoming a victim entirely of the depression, believing there’s nothing you can do to change it, or thinking it’s all entirely based on choices and that you can “cure” yourself. All these things I’m listing are things we should be pursuing with or without depression. It’s important to develop a strong, healthy mindset regardless. Gratitude has been proven to increase life satisfaction along with compassion. It is also important to treat yourself gently, as many of us are our own worst critics. These are fruits of the Spirit you can cultivate and ask God to give you (Galatians 5:22-23).

It should go without saying, but comparison is so, so toxic yet something encouraged in this society. Cut off those sources if that’s a temptation for you. Seriously, it’s not worth losing your mental state over. Those are just carefully crafted images, anyway. You never know someone until you’re with them constantly and you can observe their inner battles. No one would guess at my depression unless they really knew me. People don’t advertise their shortcomings, but everyone goes through dark days. Some of the people you think have it all might be suffering the most. Don’t believe the lies social media or magazines or your own limited knowledge might tell you.

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:13 NIV

Depression is an opportunity to learn surrender. God brings beauty out of the darkest times in history, including our own. We were never meant to control this life. You’ll notice that the more you try, the more depressed you’ll feel. It’s because God didn’t design us this way. We can act as He commands us to and out of our free will, but so many things happen without us. Learning to make peace with that is hard but necessary. Surrendering to God is what we were made for. Ask Him to help you see what He has for you in this season. One of my favorite quotes my mom shared with me is that you don’t have to control your thoughts but you can stop letting them control you. I had to learn to accept I might think certain things, but I can still go on with my life and pursue healthy habits and things I enjoy.

Believe that you matter and that regardless of your past, your journey can still take you to so many good places. I read the most amazing article on a writing site I follow that made this point in a beautiful way. Get rid of anything or anyone in your life that makes you believe other than this truth.

Nothing you experience is ever in vain, including depression. One of the more difficult truths to believe is that God wastes nothing, especially feelings that seem so contrary to what we know He wants. But think of it this way: SO many of His anointed prophets and saints went through and recorded in the Bible their long periods of deep distress and depression. And God chose to put them in His Word. You’re not alone or a failure in feeling this way. We all question God; we all want to give up at times; we all know that life can be so, so hard and dark. But you can choose to keep pressing on, keep believing God’s promises and meditating on His character like these people throughout history did, and finish the race. My depression has led me to intimacy and new insights with and about God and the world around me in a way I never would’ve gotten otherwise. It doesn’t feel like it at the time, but it can lead you to a deeper relationship with Him and the world around you.

The season you’re in now might feel long and unending, but it will not last forever. When I was struggling in high school, I had no choice but to believe this, but it was hard because I literally knew nothing else. My entire childhood had been the same: living at home and going to school and, in my older years, feeling alone and stifled. So I had nothing to compare it to, no past reference to say hey, things used to be different and better. No, I literally only knew the season of school and feeling lonely. Then I went to college. It wasn’t a magical solution to all my problems, but things did change. They had to—it was a new environment, a new way of life for me. There were still challenges, some recurring and some new for the season, but there were also a lot of good changes. Little by little, I started realizing that life does change, and you never know when your “break” might be right around the corner. Some of the best things in my life still happened to me when I was in high school.

I really wish I had saved this post one of my friends on Facebook shared when I was in high school. It was about dealing with suicidal feelings and depression and how you never know what is to come; they were talking about the possibilities of life and how you don’t know what’s going to happen or come (remember last week’s post about how you don’t know what you don’t know?). It was saying you could meet a partner in a few years who changes your life and all these things to that effect, and I like how it said you could feel happy again in five seconds because feelings and thoughts are guides, not absolute rules; they aren’t fixed; you decide the course of your life through concrete CHOICES and ACTIONS. Depression is so tricky because it consumes your emotions and thoughts, which we know direct our actions, but you can talk back. One of the most valuable things people of this time in life need to learn is how to talk back to their emotions and thoughts. Not everything you think is true. Not everything you assume is reality. Not everything you feel is accurate. These things need to be treated as indicators to reflect on rather than our compass to make choices.

Remember you are NEVER alone. God doesn’t draw away from you in disappointment when you feel this way; His Word says the OPPOSITE.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18 NIV

‘…And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.’

Jesus, Matthew 28:20 NIV

Looking back one day, you will understand what these moments were for and how God has been walking with you. I can say this not because I’ve discovered all the answers for why I’ve endured all that I have but because the most challenging seasons of my life have led me to who I am today which, by the grace of God, is a more wise, mature, and faithful person than I was then. I know, it might sound cliché, trite, and meaningless to hear at the time, but God looks at suffering very differently than we do, using it to produce better end results than what would have been otherwise, and when you keep walking with Him even when you disagree, you will also see that in time.

David Jeremiah illustrated this really well in his wonderful book on the love of God. He said if you were a parent and could see your new child’s future completely and change any of it, you’d naturally want to remove every bad thing in their lives, but if you did, you’d realize you’d also be omitting lots of potential good things that come to them as a result, whether it be character growth, unexpected blessings, or protection from other harmful things. I can illustrate this personally looking back on my college experience or looking back on anything, really. I’ve given a lot of thought to if my decision to attend Iowa State and study advertising was the right choice. A lot of times, I’ve thought and told people that if I could go back and do things differently, I would. I would’ve picked a different college and major or done something online or done something with more specialized training. But if I could go back and do that, suddenly I would lose everything I’ve gained in the last three years: certain jobs, connections, and life lessons. I’d lose the friends I have now because we never would’ve met. So there’s no point thinking that way because everything had to happen the way it did to get me to where I am now.

The story isn’t over yet. Don’t end it prematurely. God is the One who writes our stories, and He already has secured our eternal happy-ever-after. Regardless of how it feels here on earth, it’s only going to get better. Sometimes I’ve had to sit with some of the most painful emotions in my life and think well, it can’t feel any worse than this, which means the only way it can go is up. And it will. You almost have to detach yourself from the thoughts and emotions you’re feeling and analyze them critically, like some abstract thing. Rather than finding your identity in your thoughts and emotions, think of them as something passing through or trying to happen to you rather than something that dictates your consciousness. Sometimes I think what are thoughts, really, and how can they cause so much pain? And what is pain, really? Get really philosophical with it. It hurts and you sit with it but you can keep moving forward. You can take away its power. Thoughts can be changed. You can replace them with different thoughts. You can focus on different things.

“It’s just a bad day, not a bad life.” Replace “day” with “week” or “month” or “year” or “season,” as needed. I love that quote because I know even when I felt the most horrible about life where I was thinking it’d be better to be dead, I didn’t REALLY think that. I knew life could be and is beautiful. Full of pain and sin, yes, but I knew God had beauty still there for me to cherish. I just got so tired of waiting to be out of the worst seasons I felt. And now when I look back, some of the things that I thought were so excruciating, like being alone or having tons of free time, I would give anything to have back now. My attitude has changed with the more experience I’ve gotten, so try to keep that in mind, too.

You don’t know where you’re needed in the future. You have people, places, and purposes waiting for you that you’re not even aware of yet. I think the moral of the story is that depression lies to you. Whether it’s certain circumstances, chemical imbalances in the brain, negative thoughts, or a combination of all the above, that is one story you’re being exposed to all the time, but it is NOT the whole story or even the true story. What God says about you and has for you is so much greater. That is why we treat depression because it isn’t how you’re meant to live. When you go through cognitive-behavioral therapy, which I have, it is extremely helpful and teaches you ways to evaluate your thoughts against the truth. And sometimes you don’t need to evaluate every thought; you just need to recognize it as being fleeting and not the whole picture and keep living your life. Great things do await you!! God has wonderful plans for you! Nothing that happens to you is an accident! He works all things out for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

I have to share a wonderful quote from John Piper:

When the darkness of uncertainty and fear hangs over you, don’t let go of the One you knew in the light.

John Piper

God will walk with you through all of these negative emotions. You haven’t failed as a Christian or a person, and to the right people, you will never be a burden. People you don’t even know care about your wellbeing, like I don’t know all of you reading this, but it would absolutely break my heart to learn that you felt this way. My mom and grandma had to listen to the brunt of my depression, including when I confessed feeling suicidal to them, and I remember one time my mom just sat with me on my bed and cried with me, yet they told me to never apologize for my feelings. I do feel bad that they had to walk through this hard season with me because it did impact them because they love me, but they didn’t make me feel ashamed of it. They stuck with me through the darkest times of my life, encouraging me even when I didn’t care to hear it, and it mattered so much because it did eventually sink in. I did remember everything they said, and I did come out of those seasons.

I’ve made five phone wallpapers for you with my favorite quotes that have helped me with my depression, and you can download all of them by subscribing to my mailing list here. I’m going to end the post *for now* because I have a habit of trying to combine every single thing I’ve ever read that has inspired me on a topic into one post and it becomes so long, but this will NOT be my last post on the topic. I have many more things to share that have encouraged me over the years, including things I’ve realized through journaling that I want to share in my “For the Journal” series I’ll be starting soon. I might even do some video blogs on this topic because it would be a great topic to talk about.

I don’t feel like I’ve done this topic justice at all, if I’m being honest. There are so many things I could say in regards to depression; it’s such a loaded topic and permeates so many different subjects. I just encourage you to keep going to God and keep fighting for yourself in this area. It is worth it. If I’ve missed anything because I know I have or if there are specific things you want me to discuss further, PLEASE let me know and I will be glad to do so!! It’s so hard to write about a topic like this when it affects us all so differently and to different degrees, so I tried my best with some of my own experiences. I’m also not doing the people/articles/things I talk about justice because I don’t want to plagiarize anyone, so I’m merely trying to summarize their impact on my life. I’m going to leave you with a list of resources of things you can do, read, study, and research further to help you in this area.

Some Final Advice

I have a “mental health album” I made in my photos library where I save quotes, screenshots, Bible verses, and faith-based affirmations so I do have a point of reference when I feel assailed with depressing, negative thoughts. It has helped a lot. It’s tricky to retrain your brain when I personally made that negative pathway so strong. I kind of “lost” my more positive, faith-based pathways because I kept feeding my brain with depressing thoughts. I’ve been trying really hard to undo years of that damage, and it is happening! The more you do it, the easier it will get.

I also think it’s SO important to find trusted people to confide in, and I always get nervous saying that because I don’t know everyone reading this and I don’t know what your situation is socially. I know I would get so triggered when people would talk about community and all that ’cause I felt so lonely. But even if you have to just start with a therapist, that is starting somewhere. You just can’t give up.

Also, to make it even easier, depending on how severe of a situation you find yourself in, I want to share the following phone number: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline). According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America’s website, that number will connect you to a trained counselor in your area, and in an emergency, call 911. It gets so painful to put yourself out there when you are hurting, but there are caring people that want to help. The first counselor you see may not be the right fit, either, but keep trying. Eventually, you’re bound to find someone who is a good fit. I just know this disease festers in isolation, and that’s probably how you’re going to feel, like you just want to be alone. But people really can help you. Life doesn’t have to be this way. Just keep fighting for the light, keep running to God, and keep following His lead. He can get you through it.

I think it’s important to prioritize routines and habits, too. If all you feel like doing is going through the motions, you can at least go through motions that are going to contribute to your health. Even doing a little bit of exercise, whether it’s walking outside or a short online workout, can make a world of difference. Trying to eat balanced and incorporate more nutritious foods is also beneficial. Try to find some low-key hobbies that don’t add stress but help you relax. I also can’t recommend journaling enough because even if your emotions aren’t accurate or truthful, you still feel them, so that can help validate what you’re feeling and give you a sense of release. With time, you can track your growth, too. Of course, keep reading the Bible and crying out to God. I’m going to share some of the best books you can read in the Bible to be encouraged by saints who went through really dark times; they can even inspire your praying and conversation with God if you don’t know where to start. Also, finding some wholesome entertainment that makes you laugh or helps you relax can be valuable. King of Queens is one of my favorite TV shows, and I love watching that when I feel down because it always makes me laugh.

I will keep growing and researching in this area, too. I have a book I want to read listed on my Goodreads account about Christianity and depression, and I don’t know what it will be like, but I will share updates when I have them. And I am going to write much more about this topic in the future with other things I’ve learned because this is just the tip of the iceberg. Lastly, I want to share some of the resources that helped me the most.

Resources

Books

• Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence by Sarah Young (devotional)
• Disappointment with God by Philip Yancey
• The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom
• God Loves You: He Always Has—He Always Will by David Jeremiah
• Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely by Lysa TerKeurst
• Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers* (READ THIS FIRST TO DETERMINE IF IT WOULD BE SUITABLE FOR YOU OR NOT!)
• The Best of You: Break Free from Painful Patterns, Mend Your Past, and Discover Your True Self in God by Alison Cook
• Count It All Joy: Discover a Happiness That Circumstances Cannot Change by David Jeremiah

Bible Books

• Job
• Psalms
• Ecclesiastes
• Jeremiah
• Lamentations
• Jonah
• Habakkuk
• Matthew
• John
• Romans
• 2 Corinthians
• Ephesians
• Philippians
• 1 Peter
• Revelation

Pastors

• David Jeremiah, Turning Point Ministries
• Charles Stanley, In Touch Ministries
• Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association
• John Piper, Desiring God

Apps

• YouVersion Bible
• Abide
• Soultime

Related Blog Posts

• Affirmations I Had to Tell Myself in 10th Grade
• Encouragement from My Mom and Grandma
• Songs for the Sad Heart That Inspire and Encourage
• Is It True That God Never Disappoints?
• Simple Ways to Clean Up Your Life Right Now
• Sharing My Favorite Blog Post Draft | Childlike Faith & Surrender
• What I Wish I Would Have Known in High School (Part 3)
• What I Wish I Would Have Known in High School (Part 2)
• What I Wish I Would Have Known in High School (Part 1)
• Inspiring Quotes I Love
• The Best of My Journals
• How I Had a Mental Breakthrough
• What to Do When It Hurts
• Disappointment | A Reflection
• An Honest Post: Me and My Thought Life
• Darkest Hour, Brightest Hope
• How to Be Happy {The Basics}
• Is Life Beautiful?
• When Running the Race Sucks
• It Doesn’t Have to End There
• The Ultimate Hope
• A Unique, Hopeful Plan Just for You
• God’s Amazing Love for You
• Persevering
• It’s a Beautiful Life
• An Honest Post: Me at School

Ministries/Evangelists

• Proverbs 31 Ministries
• She Reads Truth
• Kylie Bisutti
• Scripture Lullabies
• Her True Worth
• Project Inspired
• Kevin Downes
• Eduardo Verástegui
• The Faith App
• Allyson Rowe Schaffer

I’d love to pray for you and chat more about this. Let me know your experiences and feel free to share your story!