I know I’ve said it several times before how much my mom and grandma have been such godly influences in my life. They have steadfastly stood by me since I was born, and they’ve never wavered in the depth of their love even as I underwent seasons of depression and anxiety and all around was very obsessive and cynical at times—including of a lot of their encouragement. I’m definitely not perfect now but I can say 100% that I would not be who I am today without these two. I think God would’ve gotten ahold of me regardless, but I know He desires us to be in communion with other mature, godly believers, and these two are just that. I’ve seen their struggles, too, but they’ve hardly renounced God like I have at times. They are so anointed and strong. I really believe that from the bottom of my heart because how do you ultimately test the strength of one’s faith? Through their actions—whether they’e obedient to Him or not. And do you know what He primarily looks for? Love. The people who love the most are the ones who know Him the most.
I’d mentioned before how I wanted to eventually do a post sharing some of the encouraging things they’ve said to me over the years, just even through our text histories I’ve saved. The reason I want to share some of those exchanges publicly is because while I am so, so, SO beyond grateful for these two, I unfortunately wish I could say they’re the norm in life, but they’re not. People who match these two in faith and love are very rare. Obviously, we know age tends to make people wiser and more attuned to finding faith—or at least we hope. But they demonstrate again and again how it’s a choice. It’s not something you’re born with, it’s not just the way they’re wired, they choose this sort of faith and love, just like all of us have to.
Life can be extremely difficult and lonely when you’re there, you’ve chosen that, but you can’t find many people like you. I always want this blog to be a safe space where you can feel encouraged, seen, heard, and understood, and if you’re in a position where you can’t find a lot of people, please reach out to me. I would love to talk to you and pray for you and we can encourage one another. That is one of the good things about the digital age, is how you can connect with people you otherwise wouldn’t. (Shoutout to my amazing friend Megan, who I still have yet to meet but has been such a godly mentor and friend to me since 2013!)
That leads me to the reason why I want to share some of their encouragement: it breaks my heart, but not everyone has people like this. Not all of the people I know are like my mom and grandma; most of them aren’t. Don’t get me wrong, I know lots of kind, encouraging people who have also meant the world to me, but it’s no secret that finding people who get you on a soul level, who know you about as well as you know yourself, is hard, maybe more than ever in this society. So I want to share some of the encouragement and wisdom they’ve passed on to me because I’ve seen them do it for others, and I know they’d be willing to do it for you, too. Even though at times I fought them a lot on things they told me, it did eventually sink in over the years. That’s proof they never “brainwashed” me, either; we all must come to terms with God on our own. But I am so thankful that as they continually nudged me closer to Him and He kept reaching out to me, I can confidently look back and say yes, you both were right.
So here goes some of them. I’ll include the dates if I have them or a rough estimate.
(Me) I had a bad dream
(Me) I don’t know where these keep coming from
(Grandma) I.am sorry honey !! I have these too Keep praying Jesus has you in His arms!! Tell him and trust Him Sorry I didn’t answer when you texted Remember the precious Bible verses you know Think of happy thoughts You are never alone!!! Jesus understands !! LOVE YOU!!❤️
May 14, 2018, when my anxiety was bad
(Me) Thank you for always praying for me because I have felt a shift mentally. I asked God to work a miracle in my mind and suddenly as I’m reflecting on everything I feel this huge peace that I don’t have to think such cynical thoughts anymore and he will help me not to
(Mom) Your welcome!! That is great! I have been there a lot!!! I’ve probably have taught you…
(Me) No you haven’t
(Mom) I know it’s in our personality. But we have to be intentional and work on it! Life is good! God is good!
May 30, 2018
(Mom) Remember Ashlee that God tells you the truth!! don’t believe the devil!! God is telling you to have patience to be still to stay calm and to just breathe. Live for each day. God’s giving you a desire and he’s giving you a talent to write and it will be worth it do not give up!
(Mom) God is wrapping his arms around you and telling you to relax and take it day by day!! He loves you and has a good…great plan for you!!
(Mom) Remember to focus on God!!! Make the God bubble big and the world bubble small!!!
(Mom) Take each thought captive!!!
July 21, 2018, when I was getting stressed about my dreams and future and asked her to text me what she was saying so I could remember it
(Grandma) Honey You want the right one God knows who that is!! You are beautiful!!! Trust Jesus !! You will get the special one God has for you!!!! […]
October 19, 2018, when I was ready to have a boyfriend and had a crush but it wasn’t progressing
(Grandma) Honey that is why we are here We love you!! No problem!!!!
December 8, 2018, when so much was going on in my extended family with my aunt passing away and she still made time to listen to my anxieties
(Grandma) We love you honey There will be others You will have a wonderful life!!!! You are too sweet !! ❤️❤️
January 2, 2019, when I felt alone
I have to include the following texts with my responses so you can hear what true faith sounds like on my part…
(Grandma) I know honey Give it to Jesus!! You are so precious!!!❤️❤️
(Me) Thanks
(Me) It’s dumb because I don’t even know him so I just like the idea of him but it breaks my heart because I have all these ideas for my life and they never happen
(Grandma) Just remember Godhas a beautiful life planned for you!! […]
(Me) I hope so thanks
(Grandma) HE DOES!!!😊❤️🙏
April 21, 2019, this is when I was obsessed with a hockey player and bored and lonely with my own life
(Grandma) Honey God has a perfect plan for you You will have a wonderful husband who loves you to the moon and back He will love Jesus too!! Keep praying!! It’s good you have high expectations!!❤️❤️
May 3, 2019, this was something I worried about a lot back then (and still can, honestly)
Anddd then we’re back to the “I hope.” 😂
(Me) Thanks I was just reading an article about this lady who prayed exactly what she wanted in a guy even petty things and he had absolutely all of that and it blew her away at how God answers prayer so personally like that
(Grandma) He will answer your prayers too!!❤️❤️
(Me) I hope so
(Grandma) Believe and trust Jesus It will happen❤️❤️
August 20, 2019, I was always doubting and no reassurance was ever good enough
(Me) It’s so hard it’s like I’m always mad at Him and I don’t want that I know it’s not rational but I can’t stand wanting things so bad
(Grandma) Honey Jesus understands He wants you to just trust Him!!❤️❤️
March 24, 2020, sounds simple but there is so much power in finally realizing this
(Grandma) Honey we can’t go by our feelings The devil wants us to hurt God loves you so much
(Me) And it’s like a romance story based on the story of Hosea and how God told him to marry a prositute to model his love for us
(Grandma) God is always with us in everything
Spring 2020, after I had a strong emotional reaction to REDEEMING LOVE, which I will get to SOON!
(Grandma) Honey your life is just beginning! God is using all this for His glory You will be a beautiful witness for Him Someday you can help others who go thru what you go thru!!
Spring 2020, when I was really struggling emotionally
(Grandma) Always praying for you honey!! God is in control and has a beautiful plan for you!! People don’t understand !! You have that personal relationship with Jesus and. I think He’s protecting you !! You wouldn’t want some of these guys!! It will happen!!🙏❤️🙏
February 2022, when I was struggling in college with still not dating and peer pressure
(Mom) I love listening to you! I love you just the way you are!! We are all still growing…more like Jesus!! You are doing amazing!!
March 2022, when I would struggle with feeling weak in my faith and being so emotional
(Mom) Don’t worry about trying to change anyones minds….but we do need to make a defense. These people are lost and until they accept Christ, this will seem absurd….satan’s in control now but not forever….we WIN!!!
Spring 2022, on the chaos of the world
(Mom) God has a great plan for you!! Remember college is only a short period in your life!
(Me) I know thank you very much❤️
(Mom) I’m sorry about all this…it can be very depressing but focus on something you love!!
August 23, 2022, on college still feeling lonely at times
My mom, especially, always knows how to handle people in stride.
(Me) Ugh barf so many of the […] are applying you know they’ll get it 😒 life is rigged
(Mom) Life is rigged made me laugh out loud…sorry! God has a plan!!
August 26, 2022, I’m still not so certain life isn’t rigged in many ways but it’s true that God is sovereign over all of it
(Grandma) Honey you have done great!! And you don’t have to be strong all the time!! You love Jesus and He is strong for you!! […]
Spring 2023, a reminder I’ve needed when painful times can feel overwhelming
None of these things should sound like new revelations. That’s not the point. The point is that emotions can very easily make you believe everything you said you would never on your best days and forget everything you’ve learned on your worst days. And sometimes it feels too hard to learn. That’s why having solid, godly people to keep you accountable and walk with you on your journey makes such a meaningful difference. I pray for all of you to know those relationships and encouragement and, like I said, my goal in doing what I do is, literally, to be that person for you. I was drawn to books and storytelling from a young age because they offered relatability and stability in a world that didn’t always include that for me. My desire to continue sharing my thoughts with everyone is fueled by that—shared connections, experiences, and struggles. You’re not alone. God has His hand on all of us.
