How to Survive Doing Something Haunted and Other Halloween Festivities

I realize I’m way late on this, but better late than never. Plus, you never know when you’re going to get sucked into something haunted, ESPECIALLY when you live with MY DAD… So I’ve lived and learned and am going to put together some tips for you, and then obviously we must go over the other things I did for Halloween. But enough about me, I want to hear what you did for Halloween too, so link your posts in the comment!

On Friday, the night before Halloween, I went on a haunted hike. My dad was even one of the actors dressed to scare people. The hike took place around a lake, and my mom and I went. Hunter does not get into that stuff at all, so he stayed home with Willy and watched the Wild vs. Blackhawks hockey game. THE WILD WON, PEOPLE! Just like I knew they would. Because they’re the best. He even called me to tell me that one of the players on the Wild scored, which had me like… That’s also my favorite player Zach Parise by the way. The two main reasons he’s my favorite? Well, anyone with a brain knows he’s an outstanding hockey player, and two, well, look him up under Google images. You can figure out that one. Kidding not kidding about that one, but I really just think he’s a great role model.

Now, on to serious business here.

Tip #1. Be warm. Wear layers. The only thing that’s worse than being scared? Scared and cold at the same time. Thankfully I took my own advice on this one and wore my warm athletic leggings, boots, a hoodie, and my winter jacket.

Tip #2. Don’t wear boots, though. I got crap in them like leaves and what not, and then it gets uncomfortable to walk let alone RUN. And believe me, you will run.

Afterwards we picked up food. I thought you would want to know that. Next.

Tip #3. Go as a group. I don’t really care what people say against this one, if you go just two, you’re gonna get the crap scared out of you so bad you’ll cry and die. If you have to go in a group, it means you’re already a wuss and will still be scared, so just do it. Don’t be afraid to ask, either. Typically they make you go by your friends and family, but we asked to go with someone else, and they let us.

Tip #4. Look around. There will be people hiding everywhere. Be observant so you know what’s coming.

Time for the next photo break. Halloween is my mom’s birthday, and to celebrate, we went shopping together and picked up some basketball stuff for me. She got herself some things, too. Thankful for her.

Tip #5. Don’t get too wrapped up in the decorations. That’s what they want you to do, and guess what? While you’re busy figuring out the dangling skeleton, a dude with a chainsaw is going to come at you or some other scary person. Glance at the decorations, and move on, people. Trust me on this one.

Tip #6. Know that the monsters are actually just actors. It’s all volunteer or jobs or whatever. They can’t actually touch you. They might get pretty close, and if that’s the case, proceed to #7. But nobody attempted to touch me the entire hike. My parents went to a very popular haunted house place called Sleepy Hollow in Des Moines which had tons of actors, and they’re still alive with no bruises or scars. I think you’ll be fine. But in doubt, tip #7 will come in handy. Right after this photo break.

The Tanger Outlets is a great place to shop! Just saying. There’s your commercial. I limited it. You’re welcome.

Tip #7. So when in doubt, run. You should just run every time someone comes at you, but that’s just me? Alrighty then. If somebody ever were to grab you and not let go, then scream for help. ONLY if they grab you and won’t let go. That won’t happen, though, but I’m a drama queen.

Tip #8. The middle is the best place to be. The lovely people in front of you can endure the terror first, and the lovely people in the back can get followed by it.

Excuse the interruption, it is now time for another photo break.

I am going to be a food photographer when I grow up, and then they will give me free crap my body doesn’t need, but my tastebuds will love. Life goals.

Tip #9. Just keep going. No matter how scared you are, just keep going. You’ll reach the end, and then you can lay down in your bed and laugh and/or cry about it. I bet you’ll laugh about it, especially if you follow my tips.

Tip #10. Have fun. Because that is what it’s supposed to be. Trust in God, know they’re actors, and just laugh at them. Not the guy with a chainsaw, though. Run like heck, and don’t look back at him.

It was also a good night trick-or-treating. I don’t do it anymore, but Hunter did, and I walked around with him and Mom. My dad was out hunting, and he shot a huge buck. I really enjoyed holding the flashlights for him while he skinned and basically tore its guts out. That is a life lesson I will not forget, and unfortunately despite it being a good way to get food, it’s one I wish I could forget. That came after trick-or-treating.

Like I said, I am trying to forget about that, so we’re moving on. I dressed in layers again, so I was nice and warm and walked around with Hunter the Blackhawks hockey player. Hunter doesn’t know anything about picking a team, as you can see. We all know the Wild is the best.

After trick-or-treating we found this awesome house with amazing decorations. We saw it last year and found it again this year!

Thanks for tuning in today for my surviving something haunted tips! I hope you survive, you’ll have to let me know if you can…

Now Willy says we are done with photo breaks, and until next time…

See, I can be scary too.