It’s amazing how easy it is to get weighed down in all the wrong things. It’s not anything new, either, so I won’t harp on it, but I notice that people continually make life harder for themselves than it needs to be. We don’t like the outcomes we get, but half the time we’re the ones contributing to them.
I want to talk about some of the intentional, simple habits I’ve formed that help me stay close to God, quiet the noise, and declutter the toxic messages that circulate about the lives we should be living. I’m not a perfect example of this, and it’s something that must be chosen intentionally every day based on all the “little” choices you make, but when you take baby steps to make the world smaller and God bigger it becomes easier to do and maintain your peace, purity, and perspective in a world otherwise so chaotic. Since this is a theme that I’ve written about many times, I want to provide you with some smaller, actionable tips to help you put this into practice. A lot of these things I’ve been raised learning to do or my personality is more prone to, but with time I’ve thanked God for the sort of quieter lifestyle I’ve led. Though I’ve been resentful of it at times since it is definitely not the shiny sort of lifestyle portrayed as being the best and most fun, in my opinion it is the best because having rest, having peace, and having intimacy with God trumps everything.
I’m not creating this list as a legalistic set of rules you need to follow to be close to God or anything like that, but simply to showcase some of the ways I keep my mind and life balanced and what has, in my experience, helped me draw near to Him. If you find yourself getting overwhelmed with all the noise of the world and want to be nearer to Him, these are several of the things that have helped me to “clean up” my life—all the mental clutter and distractions—and keep my mindset fresh and focused on what matters so I can be productive and healthy in the rest of my life. I’ve divided this into three areas where we need to be continually cleaning up our lives and renewing our minds: drawing closer to God, quieting the noise and regaining focus, and getting rid of the toxic habits and mindsets so prevalent in the world.
Simple Ways to Draw Near to God
-Set a goal for reading a certain amount of the Bible each day. I do five chapters each day. See my favorite books here and how I study here.
-Start reading one devotion per day. See a list of my favorites here.
-Get in the habit of praying all your thoughts to Him. Even when life gets busy and you realize you haven’t talked to God in awhile, just start right then and there. Involve Him in anything you’re doing, and just talk to Him.
-Lay down and just talk to God about whatever’s on your heart and mind.
-Save some favorite verses to meditate on and remember.
-Journal or record your thoughts about a specific verse or verses that help you.
-Invest in books that will grow your knowledge of and appreciation for Him. See a list of my favorites here.
-Pick a topic on a reputable faith blog you’re interested in learning more about, and explore some blog posts. I highly recommend Desiring God. Lies Young Women Believe can be a great resource for girls my age and younger, too.
-Listen to worship, praise, or Christian music that is more emotional with lyrics based on negative feelings and taking them to God.
-Listen to reputable pastors, speakers, or influencers. Still seek out God’s Word and wisdom on your own without relying on them for every word they say, but they can be a great encouragement and teacher when you already have a solid foundation. Some of my favorites: David Jeremiah, Charles Stanley, Kylie Bisutti, Kendrick Brothers and Christian actors they have, like Kevin Downes and Ben Davies, Proverbs 31 Ministries, She Speaks Truth, Brittany Lutz (she’s married to actor Kellan Lutz, who played Emmett in TWILIGHT, and they’re both actually neat Christians and very encouraging), and there’s probably several more that I appreciate that I’m not naming, but those are some that come to mind. Just stay away from people who preach all fluff and not a lot of authenticity or the trials the Bible says we WILL endure. The “Prosperity Gospel” is all too common of an unbiblical approach taken by a lot of popular “Christian” pastors, speakers, or other prominent people.
-Christian fiction can be a great way to ease yourself into some of the basic and harder theology at the same time through more of an entertaining approach. Karen Kingsbury, though she draws criticism, is still in my opinion a great writer and witness for God, and that is very evident in her writing, even though of course it can be fluffy at times. I’ve read several of her books from the ripe age of 11, and needless to say, they helped me mature fast. I’ve enjoyed them throughout my life, some more than others, but I definitely recommend trying a few of those—she has tons. Francine Rivers also has some amazing ones. Redeeming Love is her classic and it lives up to the hype. Her A VOICE IN THE WIND series was also great, and I’ve read a couple of her other stand-alones that are solid and true to faith.
-Do some self-reflection through prayer, journaling, and just THINKING. If you don’t know where to start, try taking some basic personality tests on strengths and weaknesses, and ask God to reveal more about who He’s created you to be and how you can better become the person you’re meant to be. Learn what sins you struggle with most, what tempts you, and ways you can get victory of that. Always ask Him to reveal that to you because He is faithful to do it.
-Get therapy/counseling. If all else fails—or better yet, before everything fails—don’t look at this as a weakness. This can be one of the best ways to spark healthy self-reflection, address past hurts and sins that are holding you back, and learn about who God intends you to be and healthy coping strategies for navigating life and drawing near to Him.
-Try to be around other godly people whenever you can. Draw near to people who are good role models rather than people who tempt you to do bad. Join a godly, Bible-preaching church and try to attend regularly or get involved with a group or volunteering activity. Don’t feel huge pressure to join each and every thing, but just start small, especially if you’re new to the church scene.
-Journal prayers/thoughts to God. I can’t recommend this enough; it practically combines all of these tips—drawing near to Him, self-reflection and honesty, etc. Then you can record His work in your life, either through actually answering some specific prayers and/or through changing and shifting your thoughts and behaviors.
-Record notes on your phone of any insights you have as you draw near to Him, what He’s laying on your heart, etc. Get in the habit of noticing Him and all the things He’s doing in your life and what He’s revealing to you.
Simple Ways to Quiet the Noise
-Let’s go with the cliche first: don’t be on your devices as much. It’s overstated, but it works. You can’t be bothered by what isn’t affecting you.
-Consider taking breaks from, if not outright deleting, social media. It works wonders for your mental health. At the very least, set limits for yourself to monitor your time and know your triggers/when you’ve had enough. Don’t resort to it when you’re already feeling down because chances are it will make you feel worse rather than better.
-Go through your friends/following list and analyze it. Don’t be friends with or follow people just because you feel like you have to. Only follow/friend people you actually benefit from or that don’t negatively affect you. Especially get rid of content that is downright sinful.
-With the way social media is set up, just because you’re not friends with or following someone doesn’t mean you won’t see their stuff. Consider outright blocking those who upset you and who aren’t appropriate/a trigger. I’ve never actually done that but probably should’ve with a lot of people; instead I saw it as being best to delete my Instagram altogether, because I probably would’ve been blocking nearly everyone.
-Don’t watch the news. We live in such a connected, viral world that even if you aren’t even trying, you will hear about stuff anyway. News just adds propaganda, anxiety, and most times a lot of false, sinful agendas. The better option if you do get into stuff like current events and politics (because outright ignoring it probably isn’t the best either) is to clearly define your values, then only watch/listen to podcasts that align with those. Or watch the news in small doses and know when you’ve had enough. Everyone’s mental tolerance for stuff is different, so what is okay for one person may not be for someone else and vice versa. Do what you need to do to protect yourself.
-Don’t follow a lot of influencers. I learned this the hard way, and I think this is actually why so many young people have the problems they do—because these unrealistic lifestyles they portray lead to major insecurities and mental health issues, and then everyone gets so caught up in trying to act like they do and compete with their peers, and you can’t serve two masters. I see all these girls putting cute little one-line faith quotes in their bios while their actual feeds look like they’re in the prostitution business. Don’t follow people like that; don’t act like that; don’t look at it. It benefits nobody. I learned the hard way that who gives a crap what influencers think about anything? I used to follow tons of fashion bloggers until I realized one can like fashion on their own without the help of people whose “job” it is to break the bank buying crap and then profiting by sharing about it. They’re nothing more than advertisers who profit off your attention and your viewing their lives as everything. I don’t mean to sound bitter about it, but it’s actually a sick little game that stole my joy for years, and I still see so many people who buy it hook, line, and sinker and it’s such a shame. This is probably one of the easiest ways you can ADD noise to your life, following a bunch of “cool” people in society’s eyes. So the easiest thing to do to quiet the noise is not to pay attention to any of them.
-Watch wholesome media. It’s so easy to watch R-rated movies, meaningless YouTube videos, I don’t even have TikTok but talk about something that’s sucking the life out of all future generations—granted, my roommate sends me some funny stuff on there quite often I enjoy, but again, at what cost to your sanity? Try to put extra thought in what you’re constantly gravitating to. Is your life filled with The Bachelor, endless scrolling through TikTok, and browsing whatever’s on Netflix like everyone else’s seems to be in this American generation? Well, you should probably put a plug in a lot of that because I promise there’s a lot more entertaining and actually meaningful stuff out there you could be filling your mind with. And don’t for a second think that what you consume doesn’t end up defining you—it amazes me how much I’m constantly referring to/thinking about my favorite songs, movies, books, videos, apps, and channels/people I’m following. For the most part I don’t mind that because I’ve tried to consume healthy things. But if all you consume is baseless, shallow, pointless crap, it will definitely show; it truly dumbs you down to that level.
-Learn to set boundaries, even if it means you let some people go. Life is too short to be around toxic people or people who tempt you to do bad things and drain your energy. You have to have some discretion with this because some people, such as relatives, you can’t just cut out completely and have to learn to still be civil with, but there’s a lot of great resources out there about defining boundaries in various relationships. I need to read the infamous book Boundaries soon because this is something I’m still learning when it comes to what I worry about.
-Try staying home more often than going out. I’m not saying to be a social recluse, but nowadays we idolize being on the move 24/7, “hustling,” and portraying a more than vibrant social life. A lot of this will actually just wear you down and cause more pain and dysfunction than it will anything good. God did not design us for lives of constant social interaction, work, and being on the go. There’s a reason rest is emphasized so much throughout the Bible, that even Jesus found time alone to pray, etc. There’s a whole plethora of temptation and sin and junk that comes with going constantly, working constantly, and always going out and partying. One of the main reasons is that when you’re occupied with all of that, you have no time to do any of the other things on this list, so it’s no wonder you feel like your life is going out of control. Learn to say no, even if it’s to yourself with these things. There’s so much joy to be found in a content, simple, non-flashy life.
-Get the noise out through journaling, talking to God, talking to another trusted person, going for a walk, working out, or doing something otherwise relaxing and healthy. Nobody can avoid the toxicities that come with living in a sinful world no matter how hard they try, so when you feel bombarded with temptation, negativity, and the like, try one of these healthy coping mechanisms that can help you unwind, de-stress, and regain clarity.
Simple Ways to Declutter a Toxic Lifestyle
-Prioritize. Figure out what’s causing your problem and if it is self-inflicted (ask God to honestly show you this and then be ready to submit to whatever He says), and take the needed steps that are within your control to solve it. Seek professional help if you need it/don’t know where to start/could benefit from a professional opinion.
-Cut out alcohol and drugs. Seems like a very basic thing, but I’m astounded by how many people my age and in general consider these essentials, especially alcohol. I did a check-in for counseling not too long ago just to check in with my own mental health amidst college, and this was one of the things they asked me, if I was having problems with/using any of those, and I was like uhhh, no, but a lot of people do, and I’m not meaning this to shame anyone, but it is one of those things where you can’t expect to live a healthy life if you’re putting unhealthy stuff in your system. Get the help you need to address it and just cut it out. It’s not doing you any favors, and if you have to have any of it to feel good about life, then that’s a problem itself to be addressed. I also realize I’m supposed to be making these things “simple,” so obviously if this is an addiction and something you struggle with, it’s not going to be simple, but half the problem is acknowledging it as one and then doing one thing, like making a call or setting up counseling, to get the ball rolling in truly achieving this.
-Cut things out that are deliberately sinful. Don’t watch R-rated movies because, not all of the time but most of the time, you don’t need to see any of what’s warranting that rating. I hardly ever used to watch R-rated movies because I had no desire to, but recently in college I’ve been watching several and it only hurts me. There’s been perhaps one or two that were okay where I could see why it got the rating it did and overall didn’t harm me too much because it went with the story, but the rest was just yucky, sinful crap that then deteriorated my brain, especially through dreams. It just does not benefit you and then contributes so much to your thought life. The same is true with porn—don’t watch it; don’t listen to music with disgusting lyrics; don’t play video games that are graphic and violent; don’t read smut—which I’ll be honest, I have a lot in the past, but I pay the price when I wonder why I’m struggling with thoughts and feeling frustrated. It’s kind of common sense, but so many people just consume all this because it’s available to them. Like, you have choices. Choose to seek after God, to crave righteousness and holiness, and to pursue goodness.
Honestly, Philippians 4:8 sums up this whole post, what you have to do if you want your life to feel more clean as a whole: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” So if you’re seeking after God, your desire is going to crave these things, and it should be evident in what you’re pursuing lifestyle-wise.
Lastly, I realize basically all of this post was about mentally cleaning up your thought life and perspective, but there are some basic physical tips, too, that I’ll list:
-Drink water. Seriously, it can help with a lot. I’m not even saying you have to religiously track it, but just literally go have some right now. Get in the habit of having it by you and just drink it up.
-Literally clean your space. You don’t have to go through your whole house; even the littlest things can make a difference. Is something blocking your window? Move it out of the way and let the light in. Is your desk piling up? Try organizing some stuff and make that a pleasant space to be. Get in the habit of cleaning things, little by little. People whose environments are a mess can have minds that are chaotic, too. Again, not saying that to throw guilt on anyone, but it’s just a psychological fact. Acknowledge it and begin taking baby steps to work on it and improve. Half the problem with all of this is that people just continually indulge themselves with all their toxic lifestyles. You have to actually want to have a pure mind and life that is honoring to God; it is so not enough to just say you believe in Him and put a religious line in your Instagram bio. True faith is going to have a pure lifestyle developing with it.
-Move your body. Take a tiny walk. Getting outside is great, but even just walk down a hallway. Change up where you’re sitting. Stretch. Massage a part of your body.
-Little by little incorporate more balanced snacks throughout your day. I love junk food and that’s just how it is for me, so even when I try to be healthy, I really have to take baby steps. There’s not a single fast food chain, practically, that I don’t like. I like sweets, I like salty stuff like chips, I like sour stuff like candy; I just like anything that isn’t good for me, essentially. So I have to really focus on stuff that seems like it isn’t healthy but sort of is. 😉 Popcorn, for instance, is a healthy snack! My brother’s dietician even said buttered popcorn is better than a lot of other things. Trail mix is something I’ve really grown to like that’s a good alternative for chips. String cheese sometimes helps me get my craving for cheese in. This is something I’m still working on, but try to find things you already like that are considered healthy, and then start making them more readily available. I find when I do that, the less I do crave Reese’s peanut butter cups, Sour Patch Kids, Doritoes, and what not. Your body does respond to what you teach it!! YOU have the power!!! Change is ALWAYS your responsibility. You have to commit to these little things.
-Take care of your hygiene. The littlest things can help so much; this is another thing, like physically cleaning your space, that has to tie right back in with your psyche. There are basic things I HAVE to do every day: brush my hair, teeth, put on deodorant, wash/clean my face somehow, etc. AT MINIMUM. My roommate will always laugh at me because there’ll be times where it’s six in the evening and we’ve been going all day, and I’ll finally still go to the bathroom to go through my morning routine. I just feel so bad if I don’t, and even when I gripe about doing stuff like that, I have to thank God continually for all the hygiene products He’s given me and that I am able to take care of myself because I definitely feel it when I do and when I don’t. There’s a palpable difference.
-Lastly, focus on healthy sleep. I’m not going to necessarily say “go to bed at a decent time” because I’m a night owl and sometimes staying up late actually helps me and forcing myself to go to bed early causes other stress, but obviously if you’re tired all the time and have to be up early it’s something to think about; what I would focus on more is what you’re doing before you go to bed. Lately I’ve been on this pill that practically forces me to go to bed; I take it at bedtime and within less than half an hour I get so sleepy. It actually has frustrated me for awhile because I’d want to stay up and look at stuff on my phone later but I physically can’t when it kicks in. However, that actually is a good thing for me because I’ve gotten into the habit of looking at my phone so late, sometimes even when my body is physically tired and needs to sleep, and I just still keep doing meaningless stuff. As I said before, sometimes when I stay up it helps me, like if I’m looking at things that give me joy or reflecting, but a lot of times it’s fueled me looking at toxic things that I don’t need to be. So if getting to sleep is something you struggle with, maybe even getting on a low-dose sleep medicine could help with that. It’s definitely worth talking to your doctor about if you do have any sleeping struggles. College has made me value sleep more than ever; half the time when I’m in classes I was just fantasizing about going back to sleep in my room and calculating how much time I’d have to sleep before the next class!
I’m going to wrap it up here; this is a pretty solid list, I feel, of all the little things that help me keep an easygoing, peaceful, pure life walking with God. And that is what we were created for. Also as a last little thing to end with: I hope in some of these tips my tone hasn’t come across as overly harsh; I really don’t want to condemn anyone or make them feel worse after reading this. My tone comes across as more intense just because I see how people get so complacent about things and it ends up hurting them a lot. My point is just that you have to be intentional and decisive about taking action, and that’s what I hope this post will inspire you to do. Conviction that leads to change is a good thing from the Holy Spirit, but excessive guilt and shame is not.
I hope this post can positively impact yours as well, that you’ll consider some of these things, either adding healthier things to your life and cutting out other bad stuff, and that you’ll begin evaluating your life and how you want it to be. I begin my second semester soon—UPDATE: yeah I’m already about halfway through with that now, which is why this post is just now being published—so I’ll definitely be trying to put all this into practice as much as possible. Thankfully, I’ve had a lot of time for God to instill these habits in me so a lot of it is just part of how I live my life. He will do that for you, too, as you make Him your priority. Also know that I’m praying for all of you who read this blog, even if there’s some time that goes by now where I don’t write much because I’m back in classes. 🙂 Thanks for reading, however much you do! It means a lot to me that I can share my thoughts, writing, and experiences with you all.
