It’s fitting to be coming out of my blogging hiatus with a post on distractions since that’s exactly what my college transition has felt like: one distraction after another. That hasn’t been all bad, but in many ways I feel like I’ve had to learn how to live all over again. That probably sounds more dramatic than it actually is; all things considered, I’ve had a very good transition. I wasn’t late to any of my classes and had no problem finding them all, which was something I’d worried about, and I already have gotten into my routines with dorm life and eating, too. And now I’m home on break, my first semester already in the books!

To my surprise, it was the mental adjustments that have been hardest to make. I’ll talk about that more in future posts, but one of the areas I’ve struggled with related to that is still maintaining my relationship with God or, maybe more specifically, feeling as close to God as I used to. Life gets busy, and I always used to shake my head at people who used that as an excuse to let their relationship with Him drift, but I’ve never been busy like I am now. I’m also not even trying to be; I’m not doing half the things I envisioned myself doing while here simply because of this. I didn’t realize that life is distracting enough.

But that’s what I want to talk about because regardless of what distracts us in life, it shouldn’t be an excuse to let our relationship with God drift. Of course, sometimes you have to give yourself grace and know that He does understand if you’re going through some overwhelming circumstances, but we definitely can’t let that be a reason for us to become complacent and just let the drift happen. There’s still things we can intentionally do to remain in Him, and ultimately, that is what matters and is going to give you true life at the end of the day—not anything else that might be distracting you, no matter how beneficial it might seem (John 15:5).

I want to share five things that have distracted me the most throughout my life and in my faith because these are things I know I am not the only one getting distracted by. By His grace and faithfulness and patience with me, though, I am starting to realize specific steps I can and need to take to make sure these things aren’t coming between Him and me and life at its fullest. It’s always an ongoing struggle, obviously; there’s always distractions in life and you can’t always shut them out completely, but you definitely have more power than you think when it comes to overcoming your distractions; the question is if you’re willing to surrender them to Him and actually be intentional with them.

1. Social media

Social media has become the new way of living life. I know some people argue that there’s good in that, which okay, I’m not going to debate that in this post, but it’s also becoming a fact that people spend an unhealthy amount of time on these sites and that they produce numerous negative effects. I found that no matter how hard I tried to use these apps responsibly, it’s very difficult to not get swept into the endless maze of distractions and negativity they have to offer. And because they are so mainstream, it feels almost unnatural to NOT be spending all your free time on them. We’ve normalized being distracted. Plus, social media makes it easier than ever to compare, feel bad about yourself/your life which can then reflect back on how you feel about God, and it can tempt you to follow toxic trends just to feel like you fit in and to get cheap attention.

It’s a hard thing to just stop doing those things with social media, so I’ve found what I have to do is delete the apps outright. You can’t get distracted by what you can’t access. I know I’ve had times where I’ve caved and downloaded them again, but there’s an interesting thing that happens: I typically find that the more time I spend on social media, the more time I want to keep checking it, but the same has also been true for me vice versa. When I finally get to that point where I can’t see it anymore or have enough sense to know I need a break, I actually end up enjoying the time away from it and don’t miss the agony/toxic distractions it brought me. It makes me even less reluctant to download the apps again, and a lot of times when I do, I scroll for a little bit and then remove them again because their appeal has been lost to me. I’m not going to outright say you should delete your social media apps forever, but if you’re feeling worse every time you check social media, just delete them—and don’t wait until you feel ready to, either. If you want to break the cycle, you just have to cut the ties eventually; emotions and habits catch up after you intentionally make decisions. Use the extra downtime or outright boredom to pour yourself into more positive hobbies and drawing closer to God. If you want to hear His voice, you can’t be overwhelmed by all the voices of the world, which are ever the more prevalent on social media. Just shut them off.

2. Media consumption

This could include social media but also goes beyond it to streaming videos on YouTube, TV/movies in general, unhealthy books and stories (or even seemingly healthy ones), etc. Anything apart from the focus and edification of God can become unhealthy and distract you, even what may seem harmless. A good example from my personal life of this is certain romance books, including and sometimes especially Christian romance novels. The books themselves really aren’t bad; the content is clean, after all, and they’re rooted in biblical truth, BUT my problem comes when I get so emotionally invested in the actual romance of the books where I dwell on that and my own lack of it that I then dismiss the other overarching themes of God being everything. Sometimes the best thing for me is to not read about romance, period, because I just need to focus on God rather than something I can easily escalate as being all I want/think about when, even when I DO get a romance, it should not substitute God being my everything.

If you want to keep Him first, you have to give Him the priority of your time and thoughts, and that means learning what triggers your thoughts away from Him—and sometimes those are the very things that are intended for Christians. It’s not that those things are bad, but sometimes you have to focus on Him and your relationship alone. There’s so many messages the media sends, between the toxic news and entertainment industries to Christian media that can sometimes be overwhelming/not completely relevant to where you’re at and beyond. You can’t rely on any of the media to steady you. You have to have your foundation in Him, period, so that you are not swayed by the other distractions and voices life has to offer.

What’s helped me understand my own thinking and learn what distracts me is journaling. I highly recommend journaling. Over time, I can definitely spot trends, and it also provides a way for me to dump and digest the negative messages I’ve been internalizing and eventually be still enough to hear God’s voice of truth, write that instead, and gradually listen to and internalize THAT more than all the rest. And as always, the easiest way to not be distracted by the media is to cut off its power—don’t listen to it. Social media and media forms in general all rely on one thing: your attention. If you take that away, you take away its influence, and you can begin working through the negative influences it may have already had on you by focusing more on Him.

3. Comparison

This is another thing so prevalent in all the media, but comparison has been part of the human condition forever. Not only can it take your focus off your faith altogether, I’ve found it can even hurt your relationship with God. When I feel jealous and insecure about various areas of my life, oftentimes I get resentful towards God, wondering why someone got something I wanted and I didn’t and I thought I deserved it more. I’ll end up wanting to fight with Him and hold my comparisons close rather than let them go, and I’ll obsess on them until I feel like I’ve gotten some sort of “closure” or “justice” for them, which really looks like me pouting in hopes God will finally give me what I want. Honestly, you have to feel what you feel in life; you just have to control your emotions in a healthy manner, and one of the things I recommend most is being transparent with Him about this. I’ve “fought” with Him a lot through journaling, but it’s strengthened me in the long run because instead of being consumed with my comparing and letting that take my focus off Him completely, I’m running directly to Him with it, even if I am being immature and throwing it all in His face like He’s wronged me. Eventually, since He is so loving and patient, He will get it through to me the comfort and peace about things only He can give.

I don’t want to be cliche here, but as far as dealing with comparison, cutting off the sources can be good and necessary at times, but since comparison is not just limited to a platform, it becomes something you have to address as a whole, not just avoid forever. I tried this and found myself getting triggered by literally everything for awhile: books we read in school, people in classes, people I didn’t really know from Adam talking about certain things, etc. It was something I needed to address between God and me. It takes time to really get victory over constant comparison once you fall into that trap, but He will help you when you are taking it to Him. My advice is to really focus on the things He has done for you, which is where I know it gets cliche, but I think it’s cliche because we hear it and just shrug it off; we don’t know how to actually do that anymore. When you’re so consumed, the thing you want, that you’re comparing to, becomes your everything. You have to train your brain—if not outright force it—to meditate on something else.

One time I wrote in a journal after being upset about something not really going my way that I was not even getting the bare minimum of what I asked God for. Every now and then, I like to go back and reread my journals since that’s part of the fun and growth in it, and when I read and remembered writing that, I thought whoa, whoa, WHOA. How many times have I asked God to protect my family over the years? Seemingly “little” things like that He’d answered time and time again? Yeah, I perceived Him not delivering yet in ONE area of my life, which I think this was about a romantic situation I wanted to work, as being Him not hardly answering my prayers or providing for me at all, and that is simply not true. I zoned in SO MUCH on the one thing I wanted so badly that wasn’t coming to be—a relationship—that I just lost the novelty and beauty of having my family, of not having to worry about my basic needs being met, of all the other things God had done and blessed me with uniquely, etc. And it’s okay to accept that there are certain things you want that you don’t have and you don’t understand why you don’t have them yet—I still feel that way with a romantic relationship, BUT now I know better not to make it my life, and when I feel myself comparing so much to that, I know enough to pull back, get my focus back on the now, on my current reality of all the things I do have, rather than on the fantasy of something I don’t have that I think I need right now. He does know best and has His reasons for everything; dive deep into knowing Him more and more because that really does help you begin to make sense of life and defeat the power comparison can have. You can’t eradicate it completely, but you can choose what control it has over you and how to view it when it comes.

4. Materialism

In the over-commercialized world we live in now, materialism consumes so many of us. I think some people are more susceptible to this than others because my mom, for instance, is genuinely not a materialistic person, and I admire that about her. It just holds no allure/power over her. I, however, obviously struggle with this a little bit more. I think some of it could be that certain aspects of people’s personalities gravitate more towards things like this, but I think most of it is because of psychological ideas we get in our head—I can admit that for me. Too many of us become materialistic in hopes to impress—whether our peers, ourselves, or both, stroke our own egos by attaching this superficial level of meaning to what we obtain, and attempt to compensate for other voids in our lives. I have done all of the above. Also, it becomes a distraction in and of itself that we come to rely on to pacify ourselves—I’ve done that a lot just this semester of college. I’ve had money I’d like to save but will max out at Victoria’s Secret just because it’s my favorite store and I like to buy things there and don’t like to leave without doing so because I don’t like that feeling, and shopping does give me something pleasant to do. Then I’m like, really, I’ve bought so much stuff there that another haul was the last thing I needed, but in the moment, there’s nothing I wanted more.

The problem with materialism isn’t just buying things, though. It becomes a whole lifestyle and way of thinking, and you can distracted by materialism even when you don’t have a lot as you get obsessed with accumulating MORE. Since it is a mindset, though, the more you eventually get won’t satisfy you. You’ll still want more and need more to produce the same feelings and comfort you’re gathering from it. This for sure will tie into comparison very easily because the whole point of acquiring certain things usually in some way involves wanting to impress others or, even if it is just about satisfying yourself, you’ll envy others all the more for having what you want when you don’t have it.

Since half the problem with these things is where we divert our attention—this is a post about distractions, after all—it’s easy and usually important enough to say just stop giving those things your attention. With things that are rooted so psychologically, though, just avoiding things is usually not going to work in and of itself; you have to change your whole perspective and first win the battle mentally. Obviously, the more you focus on certain things, the more important they will become to you. I had one blogger in particular I was extremely jealous of for a time—I would literally look through all her Instagram stories and cry because I thought she was so much farther along than me in life and I wanted what I thought she had so bad, so in that case, NOT following her would’ve been beneficial, but I still would’ve been materialistic and triggered in other ways if not by her because that is where my state of mind was at the time. I think it’s really valuable to do some deep self-reflection and ask yourself why it is that you want what you want out of life. If you want romantic love, why? What do you want it to fulfill for you? If you want money, what are you hoping it will get you, psychologically and tangibly? What are you really asking for? What do you really need and want? It’s important to figure these things out to really shift your focus. I think too often we just go through the motions of trying to deny these habits we have in focusing elsewhere, say we need to focus more on God, but then it doesn’t happen, because we don’t know how to address these psychological needs we have that are making us so prone to and wanting our distractions. If you want to win this sort of “game,” you have to understand how you play the game, what’s motivating you to be distracted by what and focused on things other than God and why you are so inclined to focus on those things. Otherwise, how are you going to solve the problem if you don’t even understand what’s causing it? I can’t say enough good things about journaling for this just because it does give you the permission to be completely honest and work through things and then being able to go back and revisit it, but even just pausing to think through these questions is helpful, to finally begin understanding the issue through a different light and processing it from a new angle.

When you understand what’s motivating your materialism, you can begin addressing the needs/desires you have that you’re hoping materialism will solve—because it won’t. Those are things you have to address through God and His perspective on them. And if all else fails, sometimes the best way to learn is learning the hard way—so keep indulging yourself materialistically and see what happens. You’ll be happy momentarily but never enough to fulfill you, and it’s not because you’re not where someone else is. Ask the people “at the top” whom so many people love to idolize and believe have it all because life isn’t that much different for them; they’re still empty, miserable people. The more you get, the more you’ll realize this. The most powerful example I have to offer that proves this in my life is how when I was younger, say 10-12 years old, my faith was probably the most purest and I was probably the most joyful. I didn’t have a third or less, then, of the blessings and things I have now, yet in many ways, I have felt like my mood has been harder to control over the years, and I’ve compared and wanted more as time went on. Now I feel like I’m at a point where I’ve realized this and been working on it over the years so I am getting much of that old joy and faith back, but it just goes to show how just a few years at the beginning of high school of distractions can halt your growth so much.

Then again, you can’t grow a lot of the time without actually going through these things to realize them, so I definitely don’t feel like it was wasted time for me, BUT that was because God helped me grow out of that stage; I didn’t stay there. I can certainly return to it at times, but He has helped me know enough to move through it. The problem I see is how many people go through their whole lives being distracted by these things and never caring that they are or understanding why they are, so they don’t change.

5. Busyness/life responsibilities

Ah, and now we have what I believe to be the most prevalent distraction for last. People believe they are simply too busy for God. This is one of those distractions I used to not have a lot of patience or sympathy for because I always believed people just choose to be busy and use that as an excuse so they don’t have to focus on God, but then I graduated and got to college and literally entered one of the busiest periods of my life. I added “life responsibilities” to this, though, because similar as they may be—they do make you busy—I don’t think they’re actually always the same thing as being busy. I do think some people choose to be busy and don’t need to be busy but they can’t help NOT being busy because similar to materialism, they’re finding comfort in being distracted from their actual life. There are also others, though, like my mom and myself at times, who genuinely want to give most of our time to God but find ourselves unable to just stop with all the things we have to take care of. You can’t not go to work, not do your work for classes, and freeze on all your daily responsibilities. Breaks are good and definitely required in those things, but let’s be honest, sometimes life just demands too much too quickly, and there’s not much you can do about that.

I think you need to start once again with some reflection in both scenarios. Regardless of what kind of busy you are, ask yourself why you are busy. You don’t have to be too deep right away, just look at what is literally making you busy. Is your job requiring a certain amount of time? Do you have lots of classwork? Do you have events you have to take your kids to? Do you spend most of your days running around shopping? First look at where your time is actually going, and then begin evaluating it. Obviously if you ask why you work or go to school, it’s probably because you have legitimate life goals you need to fulfill through them, and you can only change those workloads so much. Other things, though, like running around when you don’t strictly have to, may require more thought. Why do you shop all the time? Why do you want to party all the time? Why are you always running silly errands? Sometimes it’s just a matter of needing to get organized and prioritized; otherwise, a lot of the time it can be a lot more psychological, like not being able to say no, not really understanding what you want out of life, running from your life and trying to avoid things, and so on. Spend time asking God to make clear what you can change about your busyness. Then, even if you find you are in one of those busy stages of life where you’re doing everything you can to manage your time well and have cut out the things you don’t absolutely need but are still coming up short and not as focused on God as you want to be, focus on the little things you can do. Maybe you can’t study a whole book of the Bible as in depth as you’d want to—or maybe you can’t even sit down long enough TO open the Bible—but in my connection church group at college, a great point one of the girls made was how just the littlest amount of time being in the Word—it could literally just be reading a verse—matters. Maybe you can’t open your Bible, but could you download the Bible app and just open it long enough to read the verse of the day?

I think a trend I see is usually a lot of people who are busy and can’t focus on God as much as they want to/know they should also tend to be perfectionistic, as I know I am, so they think if they can’t sit down and study the Bible “properly,” they won’t do it at all. But reading a verse is still drawing close to God! We have to be careful not to turn focusing on Him into religious rituals. DON’T get me wrong, it is important to spend large amounts of time in the Word and through prayer because that is how you spend time with God, but we can’t fall into this trap where if we don’t have a lot of time to do that, we simply abandon it altogether. Quick readings and prayers have just as much value. If you were dating someone you really liked and had the choice to talk to them just briefly when you’re busy or not talk to them at all until you felt like you had more time, what would you choose? Of course with someone you really like, you’d take as much interaction as you could, despite your circumstances. The same should be true with our relationship with God. Our focus needs to be on Him continually, and whether that looks like brief readings of verses and prayers throughout the days or lengthier quiet periods where you can really meditate on His Word or spend it in prayer, it’s all focusing on Him. And if you want to not be distracted, you have to keep coming back to Him, no matter how small, quick, or insignificant it may seem. You have to make it a pattern, a way of life—where your focus naturally gravitates. Some seasons of life are certainly easier to focus on Him than others, but when you have that pattern of always seeking Him, even if it’s not as you usually do it, you’re still keeping the focus on Him through it all. And He will draw close to you.

At the end of the day, we can keep making excuses for our distractions and wonder why we’re going insane or we can crack down and actually be intentional about what we’re seeking day in and day out. It’s not an overnight or easy thing, but you have to decide how you want your life to look and feel, and when you finally realize you need God, you have to actually be intentional about making Him first. Whether you get so consumed by your distractions until you know you need a break after watching them do nothing good for you or you carefully manage them now, I hope you’ll run to Him instead of the things tearing you apart. It’s all about where our focus is. We can’t change the world around us much, but we can change how we act and live in it, which ultimately does provide the lasting influence that will lead to change in the world.