Oh, success, the thing probably most Americans and people as a whole strive for in one way or another. I had to write an essay about my definition of success in high school with supporting factors that make up success. I think it was okay, but consider this my revised and ultimate essay on success. Maybe not ultimate since I still have a lot to learn, but ultimate as of right now.

Honestly, I think out of all the things that bring people anxiety, most of it is in one way or another wrapped up in this concept. Who doesn’t want to feel successful and accomplished and competent? When you worry about finances, opportunities, the people you’re around, your competence itself, problems, etc., you’re worried about a lot of things, but behind that there’s this need for it all to work out—to be successful. I’m not sure every culture feels the exact same way, but I’ve noticed that here in the United States, people tend to take it very personally whether they’re successful or not successful. It’s high on most people’s priority lists—the American dream.

I’ve had anxiety about all sorts of things, but one of the concepts I’ve stressed over the most is success. I am a lot like the stereotypical American: I chase after the American dream and my own, I’m ambitious, driven, and always searching for the next thing, the next goal to accomplish, the next milestone. That isn’t always a bad thing, but it easily can be because it’s easy to get obsessed, and we live in a culture that promotes and rewards obsession as the key to success. Then if you realize you want to have a life, a balanced life, you may feel like you’re doing the wrong thing and forfeiting opportunities.

Eventually, if you get far enough, you see that the culture is like a dog trying to chase its tail. You only get so far by chasing the worldly concept of success. What does God say about success? Well, the first thing I’ll say that I’ve learned is success to Him looks like obedience and holiness. How far you get in the hierarchy of society isn’t nearly as important as how close you get to Him—which usually means going down in society.

And Samuel said, ‘Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams.’

1 Samuel 15:22 ESV

Now that one may sound ancient with the bit on burnt offerings and sacrifices, but the point is that the “works” people do for Him, whether it was the practice of sacrificing an animal to atone for one’s sins or starting a ministry or project now meant for His glory, none of that compares to actually obeying and listening to Him. You can give the outward appearance of being super close to Him, of working for Him, of doing something for Him, but if you’re not actually being obedient to what He says and listening, you’re not doing anything that pleases Him. That is really important to note in the concept of success because it’s very easy to take something we want to do, find a way to make it seem pleasing to the Lord, and then assume we have His approval. That won’t lead to true success in the long run.

For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.

Matthew 7:14 ESV

The gate in this verse is referring to the entrance of heaven. Why is the gate narrow, the way to life hard? Because it’s too easy to get caught up in success here and to indulge our worldly passions rather than being obedient to Him and surrendering (Matthew 19:23).

Jesus replied, ‘Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.’

John 14:23 NIV

Home with Him is true success. That’s the end goal. All this stuff we want will pass away, but His Word and kingdom will never (Matthew 24:35; though this verses includes heaven as passing away, that is because at the end times, when the first earth passes away, the first heaven passes away—there will be both a new heaven and a new earth, our eternal home [Revelation 21:1]).

Two more verses summarize it all really well:

‘Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.’

Matthew 6:19-21 NIV

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27

Notice the similarities in those two verses. The first is Jesus speaking; the second is the apostle Paul speaking. Both acknowledge the perishable nature of treasure and reward on earth—in this finite life. Both emphasize reward in heaven, and to receive that reward, both make it clear your focus needs to be on Him. If your treasure is success in this world, that’s what you will desire, and the less you will desire of Him or even think about heaven with Him. And when you don’t discipline yourself to focus on Him, you do end up running aimlessly—for earthly goals, maybe, but nonetheless “beating the air” because what happens to their fulfillment when it all passes away? Only the things of Him last into eternity.

With that established, I’d like to share some insight into my own journey with this and some other quotes that have helped me along the way, that do a great job of describing true success as we’ve established—being obedient to Him and living with integrity. He is the One who ultimately rewards, not mankind. That isn’t to say we can’t have goals and dreams for our lives now, though. The key is in what you’re seeking ultimately. Your focus has to be on Him above all. If you focus too long on what you want, then that’s where your heart goes. I know this because I’ve done it. It’s easy to treat the following verse as a checklist—seek Him, then get what you want, but that’s not how it works, because if you’re trying to manipulate that, or think well, I’m seeking Him, so why haven’t I gotten what I want, then your attention is still too much on what you want and not enough on Him. When it’s firmly centered on Him, the worldly successes don’t hold that kind of power over you. It doesn’t destroy you if you don’t get what you want because you’re secure in Him. This is why it takes self-control and discipline because, if you linger on our advertising-saturated and FOMO culture, you will feel crushed by all the desires you have and feel like what matters most in life is having your desires satisfied by what society says they need.

 ‘But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.’

Matthew 6:33 ESV

So here are some practical guidelines and quotes I’ve found encouragement in to help me stay focused on true success. When you live in such an alluring culture that makes you think things like wealth, travel, relationships, and the like are the most important pleasures, you have to guard your heart so that some of those natural desires (most of those things aren’t bad at all) don’t become idols and lusts, your central focus.

Success is not easy, and not being successful doesn’t mean you’ll never find success

One of my favorite success quotes is, “Success is not built on success. It’s built on failure. It’s built on frustration. Sometimes it’s built on catastrophe.” This very much goes against the rich getting richer, the powerful obtaining more power, etc., because we see how that happens. But is that true success or noble success? A lot of times that is just given to people; you reach a certain level and things get handed to you. The success that really defines people and society is your ability to do good when the odds are against you, when you haven’t been traditionally succeeding, when you feel like giving up. My success hasn’t happened on my timing; I thought I was going to be a published author by now. An anxiety disorder, the realization that my craft needs further development, not having peers in high school, not finding a job when I wanted to, etc. made me doubt my ever finding any lasting success.

But that’s not what it should be about. It’s not about doing all the things right away. It’s about trusting God and the journey and plans He has for you and persevering and obeying along the way. He brings good out of bad, so you never know when you may have a breakthrough (Romans 8:28).

If it comes, let it; if it goes, let it

This is another quote I love. Too often we are focused on achieving one solid goal: make this amount of money, obtain this job, do this specific thing…and that can be absolutely exhausting. You can be a goal-driven, responsible person and still not achieve those things if they aren’t God’s will. Don’t put that kind of pressure on yourself. Take your desires to Him and then trust Him that He knows what is actually best for you. Not everything that looks like it is desirable is actually okay for you. Too much money can be toxic and corrupting. A dream job might require sacrifices you wouldn’t want to make. You don’t always know, but you can ruin your life obsessing over what you don’t have. That’s not God’s best for you. Trust Him that He knows. I’ve fought with Him about literally everything I’ve wanted, and it just makes me miserable. Plus, with time, it always comes together, why He withholds certain things. You know His intentions are to love you and give you the best, so don’t waste time and energy like I did. He withholds no good thing from those who love Him (Psalm 84:11)!

So much anxiety comes from trying to make something you really want yours. There’s nothing wrong with taking reasonable steps to achieve goals, but when it crosses that line into obsession, it’s exhausting. Do what is honorably in your control and leave the rest to Him.

Don’t focus on the end goals

“Focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase.” My mom has quoted this to me before. And of course that infamous “cross that bridge when you get there” crap. 😉 It’s true, though. Oftentimes this is even used as a strategy for anxiety; anxiety tends to examine absolutely everything, all the possible outcomes, and attempt to control an entire situation, when to reduce anxiety, you need to narrow your perspective a lot. You need to get your mind off the hypothetical, the what has not happened, and focus on what is practically in front of you. One thing at a time. That is how God wants you to live, too; a verse that helps me a ton is not focusing on tomorrow, for today has enough trouble of its own (Matthew 6:34). That is true! Sometimes when I examine my anxieties, it’s like dang, they’re all just future scenarios that haven’t happened at all, and that can especially be true for success. Plus, when you’re thinking about the future, you’re not usually present in your life now. Enjoy each day as it comes.

Do NOT fall into the trap of being so busy and obsessive

This is definitely a cultural thing that has been ingrained in many people. Growing up, I had a very slow, laidback life; for awhile, I cherished it and pitied people who were always too busy to even live. Then, I got restless in high school and resented my “boring” lifestyle, and now I am in college and feel like I’ve gotten sucked in to the busy lifestyle I said I would never, and I’d like to slap my high school self for being such a whiner and not using that time to focus on the things I love, which I rarely have time for now. I remember saying at that time, “I don’t have time to wait on God.” When I would complain about my situation and all I wanted to achieve, I always got the patience runaround, which I resented because I resent patience. BUT…my mom effectively responded with this quote:

It is dangerous to be so busy that you have no time to wait on God.

A.W. Tozer

If some sort of goal or idea of success is demanding that from you, it’s definitely not from Him and therefore not true success.

Success itself can be a trap

I LOVE this quote from A.W. Tozer, too:

The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven’t yet come to the end of themselves. We’re still trying to give orders, and interfering with God’s work within us.

Oh my gosh, that’s a beautiful statement this society needs FRAMED ON THEIR ENTIRE WALL. Success in the American dream sort of way is actually very self-centered when you think about it, which is the opposite of the things of God. There can be no self-centeredness in pleasing Him. It’s all about selflessly dying to yourself, BUT there is an important disclaimer to be made even with that, which is that in doing so, you don’t want to hate yourself or ignore yourself. It simply means you are putting others’ needs ahead of yours but not in spite of yours. You can’t love others if you don’t know what it means to receive love from Him and healthy relationships. Loving others while hating yourself is people pleasing, and I am not trying to encourage that, nor is God. BUT, I love how this quote says “giving orders.” There’s the context of that in success, of trying to control your life, but a lot of people just give orders in general. Sometimes you have to even as a selfless person—Jesus gave commands out of His authority as God’s Son, and you may be in a position of leadership where that is part of your role. Even so, selfless people are very gracious about giving orders when they do. They are not characterized by dominating people and ordering them around. Their life reflects a serving nature, which is what Jesus did despite being King of all (Matthew 20:28). He commands us to do that, too—to serve Him, then to serve others.

A lot of people fight to hang on to “their rights.” I’m not talking about good fighting for basic human, God-given rights and boundaries, but they see “their rights” as selfish desires they don’t want anyone interfering with. You actually push so much goodness away from you when you do this, and what little you think you’re protecting, you’ll end up losing. Is it more work to serve? Undeniably yes, but the fruit of peace and joy and contentment and purpose are so much greater that when you consistently do it, it doesn’t feel like work; it’s a way of life, and God will honor that. You become the stronger person, and you’re the one in a better position for true success. Even in our pagan world, there is room for reward with that, because people love people who are easy to love and are more apt to go out of their way for those kinds of people.

I wish there was a way to make everyone comprehend this. Everyone thinks life is this game where we’re all trying to scoop up as much stuff for ourselves as possible, and that’s how most people live, out of fear that if they don’t, someone will take what they need and desire. People don’t realize how ideal and perfect the world would be if EVERYONE did the opposite: offer the best to others. This mutual selflessness and giving would ensure everyone has enough and more than what they need and desire, and it would ease so many stressful and negative burdens. People’s selfishness, the devil itself, lies to them, saying if you don’t fight for “your share,” you won’t be happy or successful, so that’s why people screw other people to get what they want. That’s a sad existence, a sad world, and I refuse to live that way, no matter how attractive the world makes it out to be. I actually don’t find it attractive; I find it repulsive and pitiful. If only people could realize surrendering to God literally means you lose nothing of importance but gain EVERYTHING of value…! But it’s all backwards; people are convinced what they lose is important and what they gain won’t be valuable—otherwise, they would surrender to Him wholeheartedly. Just remember: it’s Satan you’re believing when you think that way.

Here are some other great quotes that warn of the dangers in chasing down success that I’ve needed to refocus my perspective:

Joy comes to us in ordinary moments. We risk missing out when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.

Brene Brown

I’m not some huge Brene Brown fan, but this quote is fantastic. I had to relearn what joy is during my adolescence because from a young age, it was my desire to be extraordinary. I don’t think my younger self would have approved of the way I made that my life in chasing fame and dreams so much, yet unconsciously, it was always inside me and driving me insane. The saddest thing is that in trying to reduce FOMO, people do miss out—on a meaningful life. What is considered extraordinary—wealth, fame, grand excursions, executive positions, etc.—become very toxic when chased down, and they’re not that extraordinary in the scheme of life. What is extraordinary? God is the embodiment of extraordinary, JOY is extraordinary, and the two are intertwined. And how do you seek Him? In the ordinary moments! In EVERY moment!

I cherish the quiet life I had, the life I will yet seek back. I was close to Him in a way that is sometimes hard for me to be now with all these college and career and SUCCESS distractions. That’s not acceptable. I’m not truly content and happy with that.

Look for the good in everything now and don’t focus so much on what success is according to your goals. Have your goal as knowing God more and more and serving Him. That will give you the most joy.

To get what you want, you must be grateful for what you have. Otherwise, you’ll always be waiting for more—even when you get it.

Sam Brown

That sounds like common sense, but it is very easy to want more. That’s the nature of success, too—the next goal, milestone, breakthrough, achievement, etc. I finally had to realize, what is that worth? Say you accomplish everything you want—now what? Do you get to rest in an eternal state of bliss called Success? It’s dumb when you think of it that way because the only eternal state of bliss is with God! You will never get that in life. There will always be problems and longings, no matter how successful you get. I constantly have to remind myself to focus on what I have. It’s too easy to focus on what you don’t (that’s the original sin!).

I was just adding screenshots to my vision board the other day—there’s 1700+ photos in that album. I don’t think it’s dawned on me yet that I will never achieve all of that, but nonetheless, I felt some concern that yeah, I probably will never do everything I want to in life, but then I thought again, make peace with that. You’ve got eternity to do things with Him. This isn’t the end, our one-and-done chance to make everything happen. Life is still good without those things. It all will fade anyway, and if not in death, then right before your very eyes, when you realize the things you wanted don’t make you happy and successful like you thought. So appreciate what you have, what God grants you as gifts, and don’t hold on to any of it, including your dreams, so tightly.

But how do we obey Him when we have legitimate goals and desires and jobs within society? I love this quote:

We must do worldly jobs, but if we do them with sanctified minds, they become offerings to God.

A.W. Tozer

We can honor Him with whatever we are doing—as a student, teacher, doctor, plumber, lawyer, carpenter, whatever it may be, so long as we carry ourselves with integrity. Someone could be a smart you-know-what here and try to apply this to being a porn star, but obviously there is no such way to have a sanctified mind while doing that sort of “work” because the very nature of it is disgusting, so! If you have the Holy Spirit in you, He will show you how to do your job honorably or when to walk away from something that is not honorable.

Your direction is more important than your speed.

This is another good thing to remember that I’ve had to learn: time is not the enemy. I know in our world we want to accomplish everything as fast as we can, or at least that’s the motto I had and still can very easily have. You can then feel like a failure when things don’t happen on the timetable you thought they would, when you actually are on a very successful path that just needs time to develop. That’s what I’ve had to learn about my writing and career journey and just with my life in general.

One more quote on the trap you may fall in to, going along with above:

Guard yourself from things and people that will try to convince you that your life is not good enough.

C.S. Lewis

People have always told me this, my mom in particular, to never compare, but I did it anyway because I thought to not compare would be denial of where other people were and where I fell short. I did and still do use it as a measure to see how I’m doing. Most of the time, you do end up feeling like you suck in some way, and when nowadays we never know if what we’re looking at is truth, it’s fruitless. It’s always been fruitless because God doesn’t care about how other people are doing in your journey; it’s YOUR journey, and He knows the plans He has for YOU. Ask for His perspective on your life so you don’t view it as a failure or less than because He doesn’t think that it is. As my mom always told me, when we compare ourselves to others and come away feeling inadequate, we’re ultimately insulting Him since He’s sovereign over everything. He redeems and uses everything.

Don’t compare to other people. It’s literally meaningless. That’s not “being in denial” of the world around you; it’s being in denial of what God is doing in your own life and being proactive with guarding your heart and mind. Anyone who brags or posts in a conceited manner is self-centered, anyway, which means they don’t know true success and are living a counterfeit show of “success” compared to what you want.

Remember it’s about Him, not you

When it comes to achieving success, it’s easy to think it depends on us—our skills, experiences, connections…but it doesn’t. What He wants you to do, He will supply all your needs for (2 Corinthians 9:8). Also, don’t go the other way and think you can’t do things because you’re not “qualified.” I see this quote’s truth all the time:

It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.

The purpose of life is not success.

Lastly, this HAS to be said more. I think most people really do believe a good life is one that is successful in [WHATEVER A PERSON DEEMS]—or being happy (the two are usually intertwined; it’s hard to be happy when you don’t think you’re successful). I don’t believe that; I never have believed that. That’s all very shallow and self-centered and really doesn’t leave any room for morality because, after all, if the only thing that matters is you being happy, who cares what you do to other people, as long as YOU’RE happy? That’s why there is so much sin in the world. Plus, happiness is one of those things, I’ve learned, and will write more about in the future, that cannot be chased or it will always elude you. It’s just a feeling. Success is the same way, this broad concept, a feeling, that can include concrete measurements or goals, but it’s still ambiguous. This quote isn’t from a faith perspective but still, in my opinion, sums up our purpose pretty well:

The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I wish more people thought that way. Seriously, if we don’t all live with that as our motto, what is the point of all this? Then it’s no wonder people act the way we do. And if everyone acted this way, it actually would be a much happier life!

Conclusion

But here’s my favorite success quote of all time that hits the nail on the head, that freed me from taking my success or lack thereof personally, that really shows what it’s all about as a Christian:

It is not your business to succeed, but to do right; when you have done so, the rest lies with God.

C.s. Lewis

Seek His will, make goals and have dreams, but come back to this. This is where your purpose and identity is found—in doing right for Him. The rest, despite what any culture or person says, doesn’t mean anything.