There is a certain Scripture Lullaby and Bible verse it quotes that always makes me pause when I hear it. As soon as I identify the lullaby, I know I want to listen to it, and a deep reverence falls over me. I have so many Scripture Lullabies I love, but this one is different because for me, it encapsulates all the rest. It’s why they all ultimately matter.
“Strength of My Heart” sings Psalm 73:25-26:
Whom have I in heaven but you?
NIV
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
I firmly believe the reason people still struggle with their faith is because of their neglect in realizing this. Many people believe in Jesus and what He did just fine, but they don’t mean these words out of their hearts. And until God becomes everything you, how can your faith be genuine? This is the whole point of why Jesus even came—so we could be connected to Him finally and completely, to remove the barrier our sin created with God, to have nobody but Him.
This is the essence and peace of life. I find no greater rest when I am in my bed and letting that truth soak in all over again like a flower welcoming their water. If you don’t refresh yourself with that consistently, you do dry up. It’s as simple as that. And that’s when all those other sins become rampant in your heart.
This is also what moves people from religion to a true, lasting relationship that changes you from the inside out. I’ve realized that the people who seem like they’re not religious based on their actions but still say they believe in Jesus are actually still living by religion. With religion, you can just say you believe in Jesus. What’s my religion? Oh, I’m a Christian. Then you don’t have to think about it or do anything else because it’s just a religion to you, just another fact about you.
But that is NOT why He came! It’s not good enough to just identify with Him. He came for a relationship, to redeem people to Himself—not just to put as a title but to actually communicate with and be part of. The reason people don’t want to face that is because somewhere along the way, this message has not sunk in. It’s because of sin and self-centeredness, yes, but it’s also because they don’t realize they don’t have anyone apart from Him. People are still trying to look for ways that their heart and flesh won’t fail them in whatever it may be—financial stability, romance, etc., but it will fail them even if you find it. A heart doesn’t have strength without Him. He is the One who allows it to even beat. He’s the One that literally created our hearts; what makes us think they function properly without Him? or have any sort of portion beside Him?
Want to know what I did the morning I wrote this? I downloaded a Christian dating app right AFTER I prayed that I wouldn’t because I thought I’d be like Abraham and Sarah trying to go about accomplishing a goal my own way, but I still did it, “out of curiosity,” I said. Over an hour later of mostly NOT swiping right on people, I finally deleted my account and confirmed that is NOT the way I’m going to find the man I’ve been praying for. Even in the back of my mind, I was being convicted, like really, you could be sitting here having a conversation with God for an hour about your heart’s desires, emotions, and family that is not just wasting time on something that will produce nothing. (I’m not trying to use this to declare dating apps horrible; I just think that for what I’m looking for and from how I’ve felt God guiding me, that isn’t going to get me anywhere.)
That’s what happens when you try to find your portion in something else. I just need attention while I wait, I just need to feel desirable… Not going to get me anywhere meaningful. And I’m glad it only took an hour to realize that rather than days or weeks.
I think a lot of people are afraid to rely on Him as their complete portion and strength because they fear they will lose parts of themselves that way, but I wish I could make people see that you only GAIN parts of yourself in doing that. The best parts of you are allowed to see the light and they continue to bloom; the only parts of you that shrivel up and die are the toxic ones that you don’t realize are holding you back. Wanting control is a sin. We are not the creators of our lives, yet it continually blows my mind how we are always questioning and doubting our Creator, the One who is love Himself (1 John 4:8). You will notice that as you read that verse, right along with God being love, it says there is no fear in perfect love, and if you don’t know love without fear, then you haven’t been perfected in love.
And let me ask you this: can you honestly say earth has nothing else you desire besides Him? Heck, I can think of a lot of things I want: Chic-fil-A, to go shopping, a beach vacation, and that’s just the simple, shallow things. But what is it compared to Him? Nothing.
I’ve been let down by my own dreams and goals and disappointed by things that were supposed to be amazing. Of course, we will always be desiring things while we draw breath, but have you ever known the freedom that literally feels like coming out of slavery when you acknowledge how none of that compares to knowing Him? Wanting things can be enslaving. One of the things that has given me the most anxiety over the course of my life is my own desires and dreams—wanting to fulfill them, worrying I won’t, being jealous of people who have and comparing myself constantly, feeling the pressure to constantly meet those desires. It’s a burden, it really is. I love being able to come to the end of myself and be like yeah, those things might be nice, but none of it matters without Him. None of it matters more than Him. None of it even matters if it’s not what He has for me. Because nothing compares to loving Him and the peace He provides.
So here’s my advice, what I find so reassuring time and time again: lay down, listen to this song. Let the words repeat in your mind. Believe them in your heart. Then start living like they’re true. It is true. He is the strength of your heart whether you acknowledge that or not, so you’ll either be reinvigorated in acknowledging that or wither with time in turning away from that.
It’s your choice, and I really pray you choose peace, life, strength, and having your portion in Him forever. We need Him every day. I am so thankful that He is constantly here to fill me up, even after I drain myself on stupid crap that is totally against Him. He will do the same for you. Just turn to Him now. This is the essence of life—to live for our Creator as the created, by Him and for Him, to do good (Colossians 1:16; Ephesians 2:10).
