Hi everyone! Welcome back to a regular post! If you’ve been following my stories on Facebook or Instagram, you’ll know that roughly every week, I’ve been checking in and asking if you have any questions for me about anything related to my life or blog or whatever it may be or if you have any prayer requests—I seriously do love to know how I can pray for people, and I’ve also been asking you all to share what you’d like to see me write about on here! I’m not doing that to be lazy; I genuinely am curious about what content resonates with you most, and if there is something I haven’t covered that you’d like me to cover or something that I have covered and you want to see more on it, I’d be happy to do so. I still have plenty of ideas I’m going to share, but I love knowing as much about your interests as possible to write about them, too.

One of the requests I got for a blog post was to share my goals for the year! I was so happy when I saw that because I used to share my yearly goals almost every year, and for a while, I would even break them down into monthly goals and check in every month on my progress. It was a great way for me to update you all on things in my personal life and invite a discussion about what you’re up to, and it also helped hold me accountable and make progress on some bigger goals. I’ve missed doing that and thought about doing it again. I think goals are important, but I want to add a note at the end of this post with some things I’ve had to realize about goals, too, so they don’t become debilitating. We live in a goal-oriented society, which may not seem bad, but there can be a lot of repercussions with that. I’ve felt them hard the older I’ve gotten.

I’ll share more on that and a couple tips I’ve learned on setting goals—this year has actually been beneficial for me in that I’ve been working with some people who are helping me with this. I used to not accomplish many of my goals because I just wasn’t considering how much time and resources actually go into some of them, and in many cases, results are out of our control. I’m going to share a couple tips about that at the end, but for now, I’m going to share my yearly goals! It’s gonna be the first day of March when I publish this, so I’m a little behind, but better late than never! One of the pieces of advice I live by is that it’s never too late to set new goals!

The Big Five

In efforts to prioritize and not have too many goals to keep track of, I set five “big” ones I want to focus on most.

1. Get a book deal.

Okay…this has only been my goal since I was eight years old. It’s taken longer than I expected, but I do have an exciting and nerve-wracking (to me…) update on this that actually makes this goal possible this year. I finished editing my novel at the end of last year, and over my winter break, I purchased a book on the Christian writer’s market that helped me compile a list of agencies that might be a good fit for my book. I have 11 of them, I believe, listed for the time being. That seems like a decent number, but when you hear about how many rejections writers have gone through before landing a deal, it’s small. I can’t think beyond that, though. There are other options if that doesn’t work out, but I don’t want to think about that any earlier than I have to.

I’ll keep you all updated on this, of course—this is what I originally started my blog for: writing updates. 🥲 It’s been a long time coming with a lot of false alarms, but I am getting my submission materials ready now. I wanted to complete this by the end of the semester, which might still happen, but there will be plenty of time throughout the year, too.

2. Develop consistent content for my blog and YouTube Channel.

My independent study has helped me make great progress on this goal! I want to be optimistic about it beyond college, like that I’ll continue to be able to schedule out blog posts, and my faculty adviser has been great and told me she’s going to help me with that, but obviously it’s impossible to predict the future or know how much time other things are going to take. I hope you all know that I sincerely don’t ever like taking a break; I would love to be active on here all the time, and I’ll do my best to continue with that.

As far as my YouTube, I haven’t posted anything there yet, but I have two vlogs coming up as my “assignments” for my independent study over the next two months, so I’m excited to share some! I’m nervous, though, because they’re probably gonna be like an hour of me just talking about things—time goes way faster than you think. I’m debating whether I should just do a podcast, but I have other videos I want to make that I actually upload and edit to be more “watchable” or engaging than just me talking, like my travel vlogs. I’m gonna start on YouTube just ’cause it’s easier, but if you guys have a preference, let me know and I can always modify things as I go.

3. Start a career.

Well, this is pretty self-explanatory since I’ll be graduating in May. I don’t even like thinking about this goal ’cause I’m just so nervous about something working out. I’m trying so hard not to be, either, ’cause what’s the point of having faith if I’m just going to worry and stress every time I’m tested? I have to choose to live in faith rather than fear and believe in the things I can’t see yet. Over the retreat in Nashville I went to, they gave us a printed graphic of Hebrews 11:1, which I have taped over my desk. It’s hard to still worry when you read that verse. You have to choose where you’re going to devote your energy—I want it to be so much on Him that I never worry about anything. I started looking and applying for some jobs today, and I’d definitely appreciate your prayers for this, too.

4. Move out.

This also comes with the territory of graduating and starting a new job, but I’m not quite sure how this will play out yet. For the past two summers, my grandparents have been such kind hosts and let me stay with them as I completed two internships in Okoboji. I wouldn’t mind doing that again, but I do want to make more serious money and get my own place, if possible.

5. Go to the beach.

Now this is definitely more of a fun goal that I pray I can have the money for by the end of the year. I’d love a week-long vacation that is just relaxing, just laying on a beach like a beached whale. I’ve never been to a “true” beach or seen/been in the ocean from a beach, so I want to see if I’d enjoy it. I think I would ’cause I love warmth, sunshine, and swimming. It’s not the end of the world if it doesn’t happen this year because my cousin planned something exciting for us the following year involving the beach, but I’d still like to get out for a week just to chill and literally do nothing but lay in the sand and maybe read a book.

Secondary Goals

These are other goals I wrote down in my planner that are still important but not as much of a priority for me either because I’ve already completed some (yay!!) or they’re just lower on my list of balancing and priorities, but I’d still like to focus on them as time and resources permit.

Develop my own branding materials and design.

This is a bit of an interesting goal because I’ve been developing my own branding, graphics, and designs since I started my blog, but I was interested in making some slight changes to my color scheme and some of the elements I’ve been using, which I did create and implement using my blog for a graphic design project in a class last semester. You probably won’t even notice ’cause they were such subtle changes, but my goal moving forward is to customize the actual theme and layout of my blog a lot more. I purchased a theme for WordPress and then customized it slightly, but you can’t revamp it too much without getting into coding and web development. I have some knowledge of that but definitely not enough to do a theme from scratch. I wish I did, but that’s not my area of passion. I would rather create a theme from scratch using a drag-and-drop editor like Wix or Showit, which is part of this goal.

I LOVE the sort of themes and designs people create on Showit. They look so elegant and unique and 100% personal to each brand. They even have some sort of integration feature where you can create and design on Showit but still have your blog through WordPress. I do miss Squarespace in so many ways, mainly because they had a whole library of FREE themes I could switch to and knew how to customize really well, but WordPress is the industry standard, and I didn’t appreciate Squarespace’s controlling overreach of people’s sites like many woke companies. Showit is so expensive, though, and that would be on top of how expensive my blog already is, so I might wait until I actually need a full-fledged website, but we’ll see. I miss designing and I want more of a customized look on here.

Finish writing another book.

This goal is also ambitious but I’ve been working on another novel when I’ve had the time to do so, and I’ve gotten a decent chunk of it started. Now that I don’t have to worry about my previous novel other than querying, I’ll have a lot more free time for this. This is also one of those big goals that, when broken down, can actually be very attainable. That’s how I finished writing my second novel, by just doing 500 words a day, which really isn’t much at all.

Get involved in a faith group.

I praise God this has happened! Getting involved with Delight Ministries on campus has been a blessing; they’re the group I went to Nashville with for a regional retreat, which was amazing. It’s helped me meet some sweet, genuine girls. For a while, I was not attending any sort of faith-based organization after some bad experiences with the one I first got involved with, but I did believe I needed something to try and meet other like-minded people. I’m glad God helped me see the importance of putting myself out there again because this group has been a much better fit.

Move into a nice apartment.

I debated listing this because it really goes hand-in-hand with moving out, but a lot of it depends on location. If I do go to Okoboji for a more temporary position, like another internship to make ends meet until finding something more permanent, I know my grandparents would be happy to have me again, but if I get something full-time, I think it’s important that I find someplace on my own. I’m not thrilled about the way rent is ridiculous pretty much everywhere, but for once, I’m happy to cross that bridge when I get there.

Learn how to use a professional camera.

I feel a bit bad this hasn’t happened yet because I’ve gotten several aid refunds where I could’ve bought a camera, and my mom really wanted me to, but I had to use the money for other things. In my classes last fall, I did get to play around with a professional camera a little bit, but it was overwhelming, and the middle of a semester where I have millions of things to do isn’t how I can learn things. I think I would be able to explore on my own with a camera I bought, and I hope this year I can set aside some money to get one.

Get laser hair removal.

Okayyy this might be a little TMI but not really; my mom and aunt grew up having this problem where when they shaved their legs, they would get cuts no matter what they did, and my skin is the same way. It’s one of the most frustrating issues I’ve dealt with concerning wellness/beauty, and I realize it’s kind of vain, but I would be a gorilla if I didn’t shave and I don’t like the way that looks or feels one bit for better or worse and it hurts a lot of times after I shave. I buy these super expensive razors because only a certain kind feels bearable and cuts me the least. I can go from anywhere to a couple to 20 Band-Aids per leg depending on the night. I’ve heard and researched it all—switch your razor every time, make sure you use plenty of shaving cream, exfoliate (which is also expensive and doesn’t make a difference half the time), shave with the grain even though people admit you’ll be left with more stubble, and it’s like ah, yes, I’d love to be a cactus for my husband someday—that’s TMI, sorry, but it’s true. I’ve learned to chill about it since obviously that’s not a concern any time soon, but it’s annoying, painful, and just really inconvenient.

I’ve tried talking to different doctors and a dermatologist about it, and my mom said she did the same thing, but they all kind of say the same generic things that don’t ultimately help. I just want to get laser hair removal because I think it’s the only more permanent solution, but as you can imagine, it’s very expensive, too, and I just haven’t been able to save up for it yet especially knowing that it takes a certain amount of sessions to complete. I’m hoping once I get a regular career, all of this will fall into place.

Start giving money.

I feel terrible admitting this but I hardly ever give money or tithe in a regular way. I’ve tried giving money to people when they need it without expecting it back, and I try to be generous in giving gifts, but I’m not giving like I know I need to be. For a while, I was really good with my money when I first started making money in college, but over the past year or so, I haven’t been as much. I’ve been very impulsive and made a lot of emotionally-charged decisions, writing a lot of it off as being in college or self-care, and I don’t regret a lot of the things I’ve spent my money on, but I just feel like I’ve been there, done that (lived impulsively), and now I want to calm down and become more focused. If I can do that, I will be in a more stable place to give regularly to the church and other causes I really want to help contribute to.

Start selling on Poshmark.

I also started doing this last fall! I’m sad because no one is really buying from my closet anymore, though. If you’re interested in any of my stuff I’ve worn before (it’s high quality or I wouldn’t sell it) or know anyone who might be, please check it out!! You can make me offers, and I’ll pretty much accept anything because I want to get rid of it, and I’m going to soon, so make your move now if you’re interested. I was going to hang onto it all until I graduate before donating it, but I think I’m actually going to donate it over my spring break because I don’t want to deal with it when I move out, and the back of my car is a mess with all of it. I’m trying to live a more simple life; I’ve accummulated so much stuff and I’m grateful, but I definitely realize it doesn’t make you happy for a sustained period of time and can be a source of stress, too.

Graduate college.

Yes, we certainly hope this happens 😊 I can’t believe how fast it went! I am graduating a year early but still. I’m ready for the next thing even though I’m still trying not to worry about what that is! School is just a constant sucking of time, and I know work will be in a different way, but I feel like it’s much harder to set work-life boundaries at school, and I’m someone who absolutely needs those.

Schedule consistent social media content.

Alright, last one that is a work in progress: scheduling consistent social media content. This is originally what I intended my independent study to focus on, but it morphed into more because I need consistent blog content to have a bunch of social content, too. If I’m being perfectly honest with you all, I feel like I’ve outgrown social media; I don’t enjoy it anymore. However, I DO enjoy interacting with all of you—that makes it all worth it, but I hate wondering what to post especially for myself and my own brand. It’s ironic because I did a social media internship in Okoboji last summer and that was completely different; I enjoyed coming up with content for a business, but I think that’s because I knew it was for business and not for me personally. I have talked on and off about the mental rollercoaster social media has been for me, and I HATE using it for personal use anymore. I hope you’ve been enjoying some of the more encouraging posts I’ve tried to share; that’s more of the route I want to go with it.

Some Words of Advice on Goals

Now, as promised, here are three big things I’ve learned when setting goals that I’m going to also remember going through the year.

1. Have a life beyond your goals.

I can’t stress this enough. Growing up, I realized the importance of goals, but I didn’t realize the importance of NOT making them your life, and it’s kind of a double-edged sword, especially in western society. I’m not trying to knock our country because I love our country, but this is more a critique of western society and culture as a whole. I’ve learned in my ethics class this semester but was learning even before then how the west has an obsession with materialism and accomplishing things, and that is soooo bad for a person’s psyche. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to accomplish things, but the west takes it a step further and makes our accomplishments part of our identities, and that’s when it becomes toxic. Even writing out my goals on here for you guys, it made me nervous because I can’t tell you how many times over the last few days I’ve thought about how I’m not ready for the emotional agony I’m going to feel if I apply to every single agency I have listed and get rejected/ignored by all of them or if I don’t get a “good” full-time job upon graduation and move out. We are taught, probably in ways we don’t even realize, that we’re a failure if we don’t achieve our goals, and as you can imagine, that creates so many mental health problems.

We’re going to address this in a little bit more detail in the following tips, but my advice for myself, too, is to live a life worth living beyond your goals or you’re going to be living for your goals as a slave, and that’s nothing more than chasing one dopamine high after another. Seriously, setting goals can be addicting; I think I’ve been addicted to them or why you see the stereotypical people who love crossing things off their to-do list and why that’s a considered a “hack” for feeling more productive (I am one of them). When you accomplish something, you get a rush of those happy chemicals, but just like the short-term highs of buying things or anything else you can get addicted to, it’s a short feeling, and then you need to do even more to sustain the feeling. That is a life of slavery. Goals can be a great way to prioritize, manage your time, and pursue the gifts God has given you, but NEVER let them take the place of living itself. Don’t ever sacrifice basic needs for them—food, rest, play, social interaction, spiritual nourishment. They’re not worth it. The crude truth is that as some famous quote says, the grave equalizes all men in the sense that you don’t take any of your accomplishments with you when you die. When you die, only one thing matters—and that’s whether you know and love Jesus. Make THAT the focus of your life, and whatever goals He puts on your heart, work on them in moderation for His glory.

2. Focus on habits.

This is more of a practical tip on actually achieving goals but it will also help you create a more balanced, sustainable life. Try to change little things and habits in your life that can fuel bigger actions. A lot of these goals of mine, you’ll see, sound incredibly daunting by themselves, but I broke them down into smaller things I could make part of my routine every day. For example, with my book, I would edit a chapter a day. That makes it so much easier than just having this goal of finishing the book and querying—you have to break it down into manageable things. Plus, sometimes you don’t always have the resources needed to complete a goal, so you have to focus on what you can do with what you have now. Habits and little actions are actually what create many of the big things that happen to you.

3. Know the limits of goals—you can’t always control results.

This is something huge I learned this semester with my faculty adviser for my independent study. When she was helping me set goals for my social media and this semester, we talked about the importance of doing what we can through actions and habits but understanding the results aren’t always in our control. What I mean by this is she used the example of saying I wanted to gain 100 new social media followers. I could set that goal and research and implement best social media practices—developing habits that work best for reaching the goal, but ultimately, I could do all those things and still not gain 100 social media followers—there are factors outside of my control with that, and it wouldn’t mean I failed. Obviously, personal responsibility does play a role; if I set that goal and did nothing with my social media, it would be unsurprising if I didn’t gain any followers. But you have to realize doing all the right things still can’t control everything. Life is just out of our control, period. We can do our best every day to put ourselves in the best position to achieve our goals, but results aren’t up to us 100% of the time. You have to learn to make peace with that or you’re going to be miserable.

You can’t control results. But you can control more important things—your mindset, your attitude, your faith, your habits, your behaviors, and your choices. It sounds corny and maybe more unappealing, but it’s not. When you run around trying to control everything else, you’re the one who suffers, and your happiness is only as good as your dopamine rushes, which get exhausting to create. You don’t have to rely on experiences and things and accomplishments to make you happy! You can train your brain to pump out those chemicals on its own by being mindful, grateful, and focused on GOD.

I think John Piper had a great quote on sex or other things similar to sex, like money and other more “worldly” desires, and said something like, “Sex makes a great gift but a terrible god,” and whatever it was specifically that he said that about, I thought that was so good and so true. You know this if you’ve ever tried to pursue something you really want, how literally exhausting it can be because you feel like you need it to be happy and fulfilled as a person. It’s a good sign you’re moving it from a position of a gift to an idol, and our culture loves idols. Humanity has from the beginning of time. I’ve probably made an idol out of almost everything, except I am proud to say I’ve never worshipped a wooden calf. I’ve idolized stitches of fabric woven together, though, and mechanical parts creating an object, so I suppose it’s no better.

The point is, there’s freedom in not living your life for all of that. It doesn’t mean you can’t have aspirations, but you can’t live your life for those aspirations. Like Jesus says, you can’t serve Him and money/things of the world; you WILL end up hating one because both require total consummation of your soul. It takes a complete, dedicated mindset to worship God, and it takes a complete, dedicated mindset to run after all the things of the world and gain them. Trust that God knows your needs and desires. Let Him give them to you as He sees fit for what is best for you. Some of the things you want most can destroy you otherwise.

Okay, ending my sermon on goals. That being said, I’d love to have a discussion about this. What are some of your goals, and how can I be praying about them for you? Can you relate to some of my advice and struggles on setting goals? It’s a slippery slope, and the bottom line is, like all things, God has to be first. Leave a comment and share your thoughts! I love hearing from all of you and pray you continue to trust Him as you set goals in your life!