The tagline for my blog for awhile used to always have some form of “fulfilling dreams” in it. That’s probably still sprinkled throughout some of my copy around here, who knows. I’m okay with that because I do love addressing this topic and encouraging people to follow their dreams in line with following God. It’s a good thing to have dreams and goals, and it’s something I’m passionate about. I’ve written about it many times in the past.
However, something has changed a little bit in my perspective about fulfilling your dreams over the recent years.
There’s so much emphasis on “how to,” “your guide to,” “going after your,” “making your,” “achieving your,” “fulfilling your,” etc. when it comes to obtaining and realizing your dreams. I’ve used those exact phrases several times. There’s also a lot of emphasis on “your” dreams. Now, when I talked about fulfilling your dreams, I hope I always made it clear that always the number one thing was to be seeking God. Achieving your dreams shouldn’t be something you do without Him or even alongside following Him. He is the One who brings dreams to your heart and guides you on their realization according to His will. So, with that being said, I feel like in some ways, I haven’t fully addressed the biggest truth about the whole idea of having dreams in life.
A couple weeks ago, I wrote this post talking in depth about how you CAN’T create the life of your dreams and the toxic messages and beliefs that go along with thinking you can. This post is in light of that one as well and expanding on the whole idea of us wanting our dreams.
I am a dreamer. I have a very idealistic, driven, ambitious, imaginative, and romantic personality. I’ve told my mom several times that oftentimes I’d prefer to dream about life rather than actually live it, daydreaming is my favorite coping mechanism, I love to read, I love to write, I love setting goals, making plans, executing those plans, and accomplishing things. I don’t think any of those qualities are necessarily bad, but they very easily can be. And this is why.
The truth I never talked about much is how easily your dreams and wanting to fulfill them can become idols. It’s a super easy slope. All my life, I’ve loved God, but I’ve also had a HUGE emphasis on wanting to make all my dreams come true. I always wanted my dreams to honor God and be in line with His will, but I never stopped thinking about and working for them. Eventually, the line began to blur between how much I was doing that for Him and how much I was doing because I felt like I needed to accomplish all these dreams to feel fulfilled whatsoever in my life.
I eventually realized after tons of mental despair that life isn’t all about fulfilling your dreams. The reason I had such mental despair about them in the first place is because I genuinely thought it was. I believed if God gave me those dreams, I had to make them happen, and it became more about my own lust for accomplishing certain things rather than trusting His plans. Yes, He gave me dreams, but it’s also Him who brings them about and directs their fulfillment, not you. You have a role in it, but not the controlling, directing sort of role society claims we have. I just finally realized how much grief I was feeling under the weight of my own expectations I felt like I couldn’t meet and how much that was hurting my relationship with God because I was expecting Him to do these specific things for me rather than trusting His plans for my desires. One of my worst fears became not doing everything I wanted to do in life. Finally I had to realize, what would I do if I fulfilled all these dreams? What would ultimately change in my mind? Would I just go sit by a pool and never do anything the rest of my life and instead bask in all my accomplishments? What good really is that? And is something like that, this perceived effect of fulfilling all my dreams, worth all the anguish and stress and despair now?
Life is about being, enjoying its journey. Obviously having dreams is part of being human and part of life. But life is not a giant to-do list where there comes a point where you’re just done, and after you’ve checked everything off, fulfilled all the dreams, you get this ultimate happiness or satisfaction. It sounds obvious when I write it out, but it’s easy and scary to think of how much we believe otherwise. The biggest thing I had to realize was this:
God wants us to have dreams, but what God wants for us more than anything is to focus on Him.
Dreams are a good thing, but not when they consume you. Fulfilling your dreams is a blessing, but not when they’re your end-all goal. Dreaming is a healthy part of living, but obsessing is not. In Him, there is freedom (2 Corinthians 3:17). He doesn’t want us to be a slave to anything (1 Corinthians 6:12). If you can’t imagine not fulfilling your dreams and they’re what’s primarily driving you in life, then you probably have become a servant to your dreams. I have been for years! I still can be if I’m not careful. We’re constantly looking for something to idolize: if it’s not Him, it’ll be our own ideas of God and goodness and heaven. You truly cannot serve two masters as Jesus says in Matthew 6:24 because you do get devoted to one and then ignore and ultimately end up despising the other. That’s what started happening to me. My dreams became everything to me, to the point where I was getting mad at God if things weren’t happening or I couldn’t fulfill them. It became all about my dreams for me and me being able to achieve them, when instead, since I trust He’s given me those dreams, I should have the utmost peace about them and cease my striving, trusting that He will direct me and fulfill them in His timing and way. That’s the healthy purpose of dreams. They have a purpose in our lives, but they are not THE purpose of our lives, which was so crucial for me to understand.
What is my ultimate piece of advice when it comes to fulfilling your dreams now? Love God. That’s it. Don’t add anything to it. That means doing what He says and following His will (John 14:15). He loves you, so you can trust that your dreams do have a purpose and He will take care of them (Psalm 37:4), but don’t start going off on fulfilling those dreams on your own and making that just as high of a goal as loving Him. Your job is to love Him. That is literally what we were created to do (Mark 12:30). He has other purposes for us in loving Him, such as working and raising children and all that stuff your dreams probably revolve around, but ultimately we are created to love Him (Genesis 1:28; 2:15). He provides the rest (Matthew 6:33). It’s never a burden you should feel overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed by or else it shows that your focus is relying too much on the dreams themselves. I know this because I’ve bene literally doing that all my life. I still have to remind myself of where my focus needs to be. That’s why it’s all the more important to realize this.
I’m always going to write about the idea of dreams and share my advice on the topic, but this needs to be at the forefront of it all. Ultimately, nothing else matters. My dreams have literally about driven me to insanity because I’ve focused on them and their fulfillment way too much throughout my life. I’ve always loved Him and wanted Him to be first, but I also had this ideal life planned for myself that I couldn’t imagine not achieving, and that just doesn’t work. The latter stole my peace and nearly destroyed me; the former is where true life is found (John 10:10). In fact, why don’t I just quote that to sum this all up:
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
John 10:10 NIV
Abundant life comes through Jesus, not the fulfillment of your dreams. In Him, what you really long for through fulfilling your dreams is satisfied. He is where our focus needs to be. He is who we were created for, not our dreams. He gives us dreams, but He doesn’t give us dreams to direct the course of our lives. Dreams are something that He uses in His own plans and involves us with. But the abundant life itself that so many are seeking through the fulfilling of all their dreams comes through Jesus, period. Think about this verse in the context of fulfilling your dreams:
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27 NIV
In Jesus, our souls find peace. How do you feel, though, when you think about fulfilling your dreams? Do you feel this constant pressure and need to fulfill them, to create that dream life that the world is constantly showing us? Well, He doesn’t give us that. That’s all from the world. So don’t worry about fulfilling your dreams. Have your dreams, take them to Him, and then trust Him. Love Him, not your dreams. Obey Him, not life plans. That’s the real truth on fulfilling your dreams.
